It’s not so easy being funny but this wild-eyed comedienne always had us in stitches.
Phyllis Diller, America’s famed self-deprecating queen of comedy, died on Aug. 20, 2012 at her Los Angeles home at the age of 95.
Housework can’t kill you, but why take a chance?
Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out!
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight!
I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.
Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.
What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
The only time I enjoyed ironing was when I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.
You know you’re old if they have discontinued your blood type.
I was born at home on newspapers…..I still have a story on my butt, although now the print is much larger. PHYLLIS DILLER, Like a Lampshade in a Whorehouse
Girl Who Would be KING on Life, Style and INSPIRATION. 