GOD’s Top 10 New Years Resolutions

Author and humorist, James Napoli, recently interviewed GOD.

“Hi, everyone, it’s me, God. Hey, I’m just like anyone else. I feel the need to take stock of things as we bid farewell to the year just passed and usher in the year ahead. I hope you will find some inspiration in knowing that I have issues, the same as all of you, and that I, too, resolve to make some changes and take up some self-improvement over the next 365 days. Which of these resolutions I break remains to be seen, but if you came up with ten, what do you think your success rate would be? Have a wonderful year, my people!”

Here are GOD’s top 10 New Years Resolutions: 

1. Get on Instagram:  god Can you mere mortals even conceive of the jaw-dropping photographic images I can create whenever I bloody well feel like it? And I’ve got artsy filters you can only dream about. Facebook is going to want a piece of these soul-stirring shots, so move over, shutterbugs. Oh, and if it’s any incentive, I will endeavor to respond personally to every comment you post.                       

2. Start a Viral Dance Craze:goddance It was pretty inspiring when the Gangnam Style dude knocked Justin Bieber off the top of YouTube’s most-viewed videos list. So, I figure if anyone can arrange to get a billion hits, it’s me. Still working out what to call this one, though. Maybe RodnStaff Skank or GodGod Style. Either way, the back up dancers, as you can see, are killer.

3. Update My Privacy Settings:  I need to start taking care of myself and not be available every time you petition me with some half-baked demand. Of course, as bad as it is to be hassled with friend requests, what’s even worse is all these nut jobs posting to my wall.

4. Get Off The Anti-Depressants:  I remember when my shrink first prescribed these things. It felt like the perfect way to even out my thinking after countless years of dealing with the stress of controlling your sad little lives every day. Now who’s got the sad little life? This year, no more selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors for this deity, I can promise you that.

5. Make An Amends:  god1You think you have it tough going back over your history and seeing who you might have pissed off? It’s a good thing eternity means nothing to me, because I’m going to need it.

6. Reconsider Free Will:  I just never know what you whack jobs are going to do with it.

7. Retire ‘OMG’: godomgThe fact is, you lazy, slothful humans, with just four more letters you could return this acronym to all the glory of its original full-length phrase. I don’t like to make threats (transcribed evidence to the contrary), but if you don’t put the ‘God’ back in ‘OMG’ real soon, you will be SOL.

8. Win an Oscar:  godoscarGiven how your stewardship of the planet has made it especially easy to futz around with the weather, I feel I have been unjustly overlooked for Outstanding Achievement in Special Effects for way too long now. And as a Supporting Actor (Or actress, I’m not telling), you have to admit my presence (or lack thereof, depending on your predilections) has played a pretty significant role in the movie of your sinful little life

9. Start Some New End-Of-The-World Rumors:  From what I saw of how you reacted to the predictions of my Mayan friends, you people seem to need some kind of Sword of Damocles hanging over your morbid little heads. And God knows (LOL) there are tons of other ancient calendars out there. So, just to make sure we get a little mileage out of this, I’m saying the Apocalypse will hit next on June 8, 2017. See you then!

10. Stop Helping Sports Teams Win:  This has gone on long enough, ladies and gentlemen. You’re always giving me a shout-out whenever you make a touchdown or score a free throw. Sure, every once in a while I happen to be floating by and I decide to give you a leg-up, but most of the time I have a lot more important things to do than make sure you open a can of whoop ass on the competition. From now on, you’re on your own.

Well there you have it straight from the man himself.  Whatever you do for God’s sake make it a good & prosperous New Year!

 

 

RESOLUTIONS…2013

happynewyear2 - CopyRES·O·LU·TION: (a noun) –  a firm decision to do or not to do something.    

As in today I’m going to the gym but on my way to said destination I decide to stop for a vanilla latte & scone.…then end up not going at all.

The state or quality of being resolute; firm determination…..I really wanted that scone.

Resolving to do something…..I’ll go to the gym tomorrow.

A course of action determined or decided on…..I decided to go tomorrow instead.

Are you making any for 2013?  You might want to know YOU’RE NOT ALONE!           Check back tomorrow to find out what GOD’s resolutions are for the New Year.

AWay with Words – Colorful Christmas Quotes

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.”
― George CarlinChristmas-Living-Room-1 Christmas-Living-Room-7 Christmas-Living-Room-8 Christmas-Living-Room-24 Christmas-Living-Room-25 Christmas-Living-Room-27 Christmas-Living-Room-28 Christmas-Living-Room-32

Christmas doesn’t come from a store, maybe Christmas perhaps means a little bit more….”
― Dr. Seuss, How the Grinch Stole Christmas

 “He who has not Christmas in his heart will never find it under a tree. ”
― Roy L. Smith

Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful. ”
― Norman Vincent Peale

“A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.”
― Garrison Keillor, Leaving Home

When we recall Christmas past, we usually find that the simplest things – not the great occasions – give off the greatest glow of happiness.” ― Bob Hope

There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.”
~ Erma Bombeck (1927-1996), American author and humorist.

Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas.”
~ Peg Bracken.

Have the best holiday ever!


 

 

B Well – How to Avoid Getting Sick During the Holiday Season

I’m so happy because I NEVER get sick.  You know what they say…..never say never!

sick girl So when I was just recently and surprisingly infected by some viral throat bug going around it really hit me hard.  Even though you try to do everything right some things just sneak up on you just like that, when you least expect it and from out of nowhere.  So the advice below is stuff we all know we should follow but it doesn’t hurt to give it a second thought.  So try your best to not get sick especially during this time of year when everyone is out celebrating – you want to be at your BEST.

Avoid Getting Sick During the Holiday Season – by branica

For many people the holiday season is filled with lots of specialty food, shopping, stress and long nights of wrapping gifts, signing Christmas cards and holiday parties. All of this extra activity tends to leave people feeling run-down, exhausted and sick. Take a few precautions during this holiday season to prevent the illness that will plague others around you.

Instructions

Don’t Stress: Stress is a major cause of that run-down feeling which can make a person more susceptible to the illnesses that are common around the holiday season. Colds and flu that frequently circulate through schools and office buildings during months of cold weather will attack when your defenses are down. Take a few precautions like sticking to a schedule to avoid feeling overwhelmed to help decrease stress levels. According to WebMD.com “There’s evidence that when you put your relaxation skills into action, your interleukins- leaders in the immune system response against cold and flu viruses- increase in the bloodstream. Train yourself to picture an image you find pleasant or calming. Do this as often as possible.

Get Rest: Much like stress, exhaustion can also help make you more succeptible to the airborne germs that multiply during the colder months of the year. Make sure to get 6-8 hours of sleep nightly to help fend off any germs that may be attempting to bring down your immunity.

Take Vitamins: Certain supplements such as Vitamin C can be taken to prevent colds. Eat fruits with natural Vitamin C or take supplements (according to recommended daily allowances) to help fend off the winter germs.

Eat Right: Eating well can help you strengthen your immune system. By eating an appropriate balanced diet of carbohydrates, healthy fats, protein, and minimize the amount of processed foods you eat. According to allwomenstalk.com a diet high in carbohydrates can attract the microbes that feed off glucose and make you more susceptible to colds.

Exercise Frequently: Although exercising won’t directly prevent a cold- the stronger you are physically, the more likely you are to be able to fend off a cold. So exercise regularly and help your body defend itself against germs and viruses.

Wash Your Hands Often: Many germs are passed on from other people onto doorknobs, car door handles, counters, money and more. Wash your hands frequently to avoid ingesting the germs you touch every day. Avoid touching your face, nose and eyes to help prevent the spread of germs.

Health = Happiness                                                                                                       Wishing you a healthy and happy holiday season!

Personal Post – why I love Christmas

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 I truly BELIEVE in the “Spirit” of Christmas – that’s right!  It used to be all about the excitement of getting presents under the tree and the anticipation the night before of waking up the next morning to find what gifts traces Santa left….like cookie crumbs on the plate.  As kids you don’t have to rush around madly looking for the latest gadget or toy…your job is to receive. The complacency of getting. Wasn’t that nice?

 

Of course if Santa got the WRONG toy, doll or game you’d make a big stink about it – didn’t he get my list? What is wrong with SANTA?

 

Now we’re somewhat all grown up and it’s our turn to do the gifting.  Not an easy task with so much pressure from media, store windows, etc. …..well it’s everywhere on the street.  How did this significant holiday get so out of control?

 

Do we ever stop to think that maybe we put the pressure on ourselves!  Maybe we don’t have to follow set rules and can keep it more simple.  That’s not to say gift giving is off entirely – most definitely NOT….I still have a wish list but it’s gotten smaller.  And giving as it turns out can be a very pleasurable and meaningful thing to do.  Some ideas…

 

What about offering something to the parents of children who cannot afford to buy presents for them? Don’t be a Grinch! Toys, books, clothes, games, you name it – this is the time to be charitable.

 

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The magic of Christmas for me now is the warm feeling that this time of the year (minus the cold) brings where people show their appreciation by getting together for some good cheer and neighbors have open houses when they otherwise would not.

Seems like most of us are  in a good frame of mind.

 

But what about the homeless?.  How about donating blankets, food and clothing to the homeless or a woman’s shelter?  How about adopting a loving pet from the humane society or even fostering an orphaned elephant (but not at home) for only $50.00 Find out more at:

http://www.sheldrickwildlifetrust.org/asp/fostering.asp

AND what if this ONE day of the year could instead be ALL days of the year where everyone is in a good mood, nice & obliging and open houses abound.  Wouldn’t THAT be nice!

…speaking of store windows here are some shots from window shopping on 4th Ave.

well maybe not my dessert.

well maybe not my dessert.    This is Moule

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You can window shop on the inside too right?

You can window shop on the inside too right?  Meuse

Yup...that's right but try to keep it quiet.

Yup…that’s right but try to keep it quiet.

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INtrigue INsider – Sparkle Plenty with Festive Fabulousness

For SHOW STOPPING GLAMOROUS EYES…….

MicaBella Mineral Shimmer Shadows

MicaBella Mineral Shimmer Shadows – LOVE THEM!

If you really want your eyes to sparkle this Christmas then you need to be wearing the right eye make up. The ‘Three Ls’ make up the basic stages of eye make up application- Lids, Liner, Lashes– and you need to be sure your make up bag has the perfect product for each stage if you want to make the best of your peepers.holiday makeup 1

Lids    Eyeshadow - Copy

The eye lids are where it’s at for color. There are so many gorgeous shades out there at the moment- but that means it’ can be so tempting to go wild and pick the brightest, most glittery tone you can find but nothing screams drag queen more than over the top eyes. The truth is you should pick colors that sort your natural coloring and base all your eye looks around that. You should start with a lid primer to help eye makeup adhere and last for hours.  MicaBella makes an amazing primer for lids.  The best eye make up styles are made of three color tones on the lid.  Firstly a very light base color to create a shimmer should be applied between the lashes and the brow.  A grey/silver or beige/gold shade usually works best.

eyes_1Next to add color. You will need a main color for the whole lid and then a darker tone of the same color for the crease and corner of the lid if you want to emphasize your eyes and make them the main feature of your face. Experimenting with colors you like is the best way to learn what suits you best but check out the colors we think work best:

Blue Eyes : The natural color of blue eyes shines brightest when surrounded by warm natural colors. Using light brown tones with a pretty pink shade always works well.
Green Eyes : Dark brown or mocha shades are great for a natural earthy daytime look while purple tones contrast well with green eyes to create more drama.
Hazel Eyes : The different colored flecks in hazel eyes allow you to highlight the different tones depending on your mood. Try using a green shadow with a hint of gold alongside a pale yellow or lighter green to pick out the different tones within the brown of your eyes.

*Remember that any eye color looks great with smoky eye make up. Celebrity make up artist Lisa Eldridge has some top tips on achieving a sultry smoky look:                         Sexy Smoky Eyes Made Simple

LinerEyeliner

Eye liner is probably one of the most common things that people struggle with when it comes to beauty. The hassle of getting your lines straight and even and avoiding smudging can make it all too tempting to give this stage a miss but it really is essential in defining the shape of your eyes.
The secret to perfect eye liner is all about choosing the right product for you. There are three main types of eye liner to choose from:
Kohl Pencils: are best for beginners (above). They glide on easy and can be blended and smudged without much effort. However this does mean they may smudge where you don’t want them too after a few too many vodkas.
Liquid Liners : last the longest and create the most drama but you need a steady hand to apply the liquid and it’s not so easy to remove if you make mistakes.
Felt Pen Liners : are a cross between the first two they are easy to apply like a pencil without going blunt and have the liquid smoothness. They can also be more difficult to correct when you have a little slip up however.  *Black eye liner may look too severe for those with blonde hair and fair skin so try using a brown or grey shade to soften the look.

holiday makeup 2 holiday makeup 3

Lashes

Lovely lashes are the finishing touch to any gorgeous eye look. The longer and thicker you can get your lashes the more glamorous they will look. Stars like Kate Moss and Gisele Bundchen love to flutter false eye lashes on the red carpet and it’s now easy enough to get the Hollywood lash look at home. Celebrity lash designer (yes that is a real job) Christina Smith tells us the best way to apply false lashes:

Top Tips for Lovely Lashes

If you don’t fancy the hassle of all that cutting and sticking there’s always the good old traditional curlers and mascara method. The best eye lash curlers are usually the most basic ones. Some people find that heated curlers make their lashes stay shaped for longer but usually a good squeeze with a standard pair is just as good.  I still swear by Shu Uemura but Chanel’s precision curler is excellent too.  Note: I can go without wearing mascara but cannot do without my eyelash curler.

There are some great mascaras on the market at the minute that can lengthen, thicken, strengthen, separate and even make your lashes grow.

Waterproof mascara is essential if you’re off to a hot and sweaty club or plan on crying when watching the new film “Les Miserables.”  Right now my favorite waterproof mascara is “Christian Dior Show” Mascara in cobalt blue. It’s just a really great mascara which builds the lashes up and can be intense.  Otherwise I choose MicaBella’s black dramatic lengthening & thickening mascara.  Oh, nothing the holidays to glamorize our looks….

All MicaBella products available online at http://intrigueimports.com

MicaBella Mineral Makeup on Pinterest at http://pinterest.com/intrigueimports/

Christmas décor – trees & traditions around the globe

xmaslightsDecember 25th takes on a unique local flavor depending on where you find yourself on that  day.  In some places Christmas falls on a different day entirely.  Have a very Merry Christmas wherever you live and whatever day you end up celebrating!

A look around…….

  santa fe 2Christmas in Santa Fe – I’ve experienced & loved it!
Visit the historic Santa Fe Plaza on any chilly, clear evening from Thanksgiving to New Year’s Day, and you will find silvery lights strung on every tree, sparkling against the gray winter dusk. The farolitos, luminous brown paper bags of candles and sand, are lit by hand each night, to flicker on the rooftops of the surrounding adobes. The City has a hushed, reverent quality at this time of year, regardless of the number of locals and tourists who partake of the numerous holiday festivities.santa fe 1

Colosseum Christmasxmas colosseum

In Italy, Christmas decorations may traditionally be put up on the 8th of December, a national holiday. Depending on the region, Christmas gifts might be given on Christmas Eve, or on Christmas Day. Decorations are taken down on the 6th of January and in some areas, female puppets are burned to signal, along with the end of Christmas, the end of the old year and beginning of the new. Photo: Jakob Montrasio

Parisian Christmasxmaseiffeltower

Unlike the tradition of hanging socks by the fireplace, many French children will put shoes out for Father Christmas to put presents into. Photo: Her Own Journey

xmaschocolates ParisParisienne Chocolates – always the best!

xmasethiopiaeTHIOPIAN cHRISTMAS

Christmas is widely and seriously observed in Ethiopia by its Orthodox Christian majority. As the country follows a calendar based on traditional Coptic calendars (which denote the current year as 2003 like the Julian calendar), Ethiopians will celebrate Christmas on January 7th. Photo: Richard Stupart

Brazil Christmasxmas3brazil

Brazilian Christmas follows similar traditions to Northern Europe and America. Some cities, such as Curitaba, will have decoration contests where judges will inspect interior and exterior decorations of competing houses to proclaim the most beautiful.. Photo by Denise Mayumi

xmas4germanyGerman Christmas

In some parts of Germany, St. Nicholas will come and visit children on St. Nicholas’ Day, giving out sweets. Sometimes he will be accompanied by his servant Ruprecht, dressed in dark clothes and occasionally with a devil’s tongue.

I've stollen a recipe from the Germans - YUM!

I’ve stollen a recipe from the Germans – YUM!

Ruprecht carries a stick, in theory to punish naughty children. Nowadays, he mostly hangs around looking scary and reminding German kids to behave ahead of Christmas. Photo: Marius Kallhardt

IndiaN Christmasxmasindia

In India, Santas sleigh and reindeer are often replaced by a horse and cart. Although Christians only make up about 3% of the country’ population, Christianity has a long history in India, allegedly founded by the Apostle Thomas himself. Photo: Meanest Indian

xmas5russiaRussian Christmas

Christmas in Russia is actually celebrated on the 7th of January like it is in Ethiopia. The Russian Orthodox Church still operates according to the Julian calendar, which runs 13 days behind the Gregorian calendar of the rest of the world. As a result, Christmas gets bumped back almost a fortnight until after the New Year. Photo: Dmitry Boyarin

Australian Christmasxmasaustralia

While Christmas traditions in Australia are very similar to the UK, Canada and other Commonwealth countries, it is less well known that the country is responsible for starting the tradition of Carols by Candlelight. The practice began in 1938 after Norman Banks, a radio announcer with Melbourne station 3KZ saw a woman singing Away in a Manger by candlelight and had the idea to organise a large candle-lit singalong. Photo: Ctd 2005

xmasjapanJapanESE Christmas

Christmas in Japan is both popular and secular. Christmas is not a national holiday in the country, though gift giving is popular. Its first Christmas was held way back in 1552 by Jesuit priests in Yamaguchi Prefecture. Photo: mendhak

Scandinavian Christmasxmas12scandinavian

In Scandinavia, the Julbock or ‘Yule Goat’ is the traditional bringer of gifts at Christmas time. Large versions of the goat are frequently put up in towns and villages over the festive season, while in older traditions, smaller-sized versions of the animal made of straw or wood would be snuck into people’s houses as a prank. Houses finding goats in them had to pass them on by pranking others.                 Photo: Seppo Laine

xmaspenguin

Vancouver Christmas – anything goes!

Here comes Santa - my style!  Reindeers can be unreliable these days.

Here comes Santa – my style! Reindeers can be unreliable these days.

I didn't really mean that Rudolph!

I didn’t really mean that Rudolph!

Reindog

Reindog

Simple & Satisfying – Put your print on a Christmas Cookie

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 Thumb Print Cookies

 These cookies are one of the easiest to make and everyone loves them.  They have a buttery shortbread like consistency and as cookies go….well they’re kind of a healthier version using walnuts which are a rich source of omega 3 fatty acids.  The combination of walnuts and jelly are rich and they just melt in your mouth.

Recipe:

1 Cup Butter

1 tsp. Vanilla

2 Eggs, separated

½ tsp. sea salt

2 cups of sifted flour

1 cup of walnuts, finely chopped in blender or food processor

½ cup of brown sugar

Any kind of jelly (raspberry, blackcurrant, etc.)  Use jam if you don’t have jelly

Assembling:  Cream butter with sugar and yolks, then add flour, vanilla and salt.             Roll into tiny balls.

Slightly beat egg whites and dip the balls in them, Then roll in finely chopped nuts.  Here’s the fun part: make a thumbprint indent on each cookie.  Bake on a greased sheet at 325 until done, about 10 minutes.  When cooled, top with jelly in the indent.

You can always sprinkle a little sanding sugar over top to make them more Christmasy.  Enjoy!thumbprint2