THINKAboutit – Girl Who Would be KING on Life, Style and INSPIRATION.

Musings: Cult is King

It’s a cult world after all. Have you seen the signs? I mean,someone just asked me if I did all my Christmas shopping. Shopping is no longer my Religion.Advertising is targeting the most vulnerable by creating urgency, excitement, and a sense of scarcity and making us feel like we’ll miss out if we don’t buy now.

Unfollowing social cues is hard for a lot of people because it has been so ingrained in us that the day after Thanksgiving, you go to the stores and you go shopping. Same with Boxing day – day after Christmas in Canada and other commonwealth countries.

Ads emphasize limited-time offers, doorbusters, and while supplies last messaging. This psychological trigger makes people act quickly, fearing they’ll lose the deal.

Brands start promoting weeks in advance with “sneak peeks” and countdowns. This builds anticipation and conditions shoppers to plan purchases around the event. I mean, you can almost go broke with all the money you end up saving!

I’ve been a victim of this too. I’ve recently ordered a few things online during way-too-early Black Friday sales (isn’t Black Friday supposed to follow Thursday Thanksgiving??). Anyway, I’m very careful not to get carried away. I purchased only a few items that I would’ve purchased anyway. A little discount and saving on shipping in some instances is okay so I was happy to not have gone overboard spending too much. One item is actually practical. But I’m very aware of the pull to spend, spend and I’m pretty much over it ~~okay…I’m getting there~~. I’m tired of the constant bombardment of advertising.

So…funnily enough I came across this interview on the subject. A new book called *Hoodwinked is about how brands mirroring cults stems from our lack of community. People are not finding community and belonging in religion, for instance, or in their workplaces. So they’re turning to brands.

Amy Odell interviews Dr. Mara Einstein on how marketers use the same tactics as cults. (YouTube video at bottom).

Brands came in to fill this void [because] we don’t have the cultural and social institutions that we used to have that became means for us to form our identity. Religion used to be something that people connected to and that was very much a part of who they were. Every Sunday you went to church or Saturday you went to temple or you went to mosque. Or your job – people worked for IBM for 30 years.

Most people don’t have that anymore. And so brands came in to fill the void. They [started] purpose marketing, right? Brands began to connect themselves to causes. Some companies do it better than others. Patagonia is very much connected to sustainability. Rihanna’s brand Fenty is very much connected to this idea of being all-inclusive. When people go to the store they think, Do I want to connect myself with Fenty and Rihanna and this idea of being part of a group of people, or do I want to buy a product by a brand like Maybelline that doesn’t mean anything? (FYI – I like Fenty eyebrow pencil and lipstick – bought without realizing the brand belonged to Rihanna…just saying).

How exactly are brands like cults?

Cults lure people in with deception. So what cults do is invite you to have a free dinner, have a free meditation class. You start to connect with the people and you come for another dinner and another yoga class, then they upsell you to take another class, and eventually you become part of the group.

Before digital spaces, cults had to be in far off places, like Guyana for Jonestown. But because of digital, we are separated from people who disagree with us, and so we have cult-like spaces now online. This replicates what we talk about as the marketing funnel – at the top of the marketing funnel, you introduce your product to people, you make them aware of it. Then the next part of the funnel is to convert. It’s really funny that we use the word convert when you buy because of the connection to religion.

Hermès has this whole racket with Birkin bags, which you see talked about online endlessly. People make videos of trying to go and buy bags and getting rejected. Hermès sells bags to people who spend a certain amount on other stuff. Sometimes when they offer you a bag, it might not be the bag that you want – it might be a big red bag. They’re like, “Well, this is the bag I have for you today.” You can take it or leave it, and maybe they’ll call you again or maybe they won’t. Hermes is like a cult, right?

Sidenote from GWWBK – The Bag that Got Away: years ago in Toronto I placed an order for a Birkin bag at Holt Renfrew. It was a medium size black leather. I forgot all about it until over a year later the store called to tell me my bag had arrived. They said they can only hold it for 24 hours before they call next in line to purchase. I started to get anxiety around it as the bag at that time was around 6K (what a deal! – compared to now it was). I ended up going into the store, held the bag for a few minutes before handing it back to the seller. It wasn’t that I couldn’t afford to buy the bag at that time – it was the pressure that I had to buy it right then and there, and also, I was told how fortunate I was to get the exact bag I originally wanted because people take what they can get. I was turned off by my conclusion that it appeared easier to adopt a baby in a foreign country than to adopt a birkin bag. Also; if I’m being totally honest – I know that Hermès is a quality brand. It emits luxury and status. But I also know that I can buy a beautiful leather handbag and also take a trip to Europe for a lot less. My new bag might not convey the same status but I really, really thought the birkin was not worth that amount of cash. Really! It’s a beautiful bag, but the brainwashing around it was (and still is) disgraceful. I was ashamed that I almost fell prey to the “it bag of the century.” Fast forward to today: you can sell a used Birkin bag for a lot more 6K – they’re still in demand and retain their value. But actually, I was never planning on selling it. Like a house, you only sell if you keep one for yourself!

*The term “hoodwink” dates back to the 16th century. Originally, “hoodwink” literally meant to cover someone’s eyes with a hood or blindfold. Over time, it shifted to a figurative meaning: to blind someone to the truth – hence, to deceive. Yup people – pay attention!

Black Friday: How Fashion Brands Use Cult Tactics on You. Amy Odell interviews Dr. Mara Einstein (on Marketing, Religion and Advertising). Full interview here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7oK4VYvXzs

Not totally relevant but I like this quote and was looking for an opportunity to use it somewhere: We are all like penguins on an ice floe, enjoying the view and companionship, until a seal in the water grabs one of us, and the awareness of the danger we all face sets in.

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The Power of Three

Good things always seem to come in three’s. –

So do bad things. I believe it’s more than superstition or an old wives tale…but for now, let’s focus on the positive three’s. Think: “Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.”

There are other famous three’s – such as Christianity with the Holy Trinity (Father, Son, Holy Spirit).

In Japanese culture, the number three is deeply symbolic and often used to create balance, harmony, and completeness. This preference stems from spiritual, aesthetic, and philosophical traditions. Shinto and Buddhist influence: In Buddhism, the “three jewels” – Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha form the foundation of spiritual practice. In Shinto, the “three sacred treasures” (mirror, sword and jewel) represent virtue. Traditional Japanese gardens, ikebana (flower arranging), and architecture often feature triadic compositions.

In Folklore there are three wishes, three trials, three little pigs. A story has a beginning, middle, and end. In photography and art, dividing a canvas into thirds creates balance and focus. I like that perception for life too. Two dogs and me make three (although I’m allowing for a number four to appear).

Two’s company, but three has more complexity and an ability to create dynamic interactions. Speaking of dynamic interactions…

My personal three words right now are: Courage, Completion and Clarity. It represents the courage to try something new, completion to finish something old and the clarity to let go of what doesn’t serve me. There is a quiet power in doing something you once feared, finishing what you abandoned, and giving yourself what you truly need. This post is about those three choices that can shift your entire course – one brave, one overdue, and one that is clearer than ever.

I read the monthly forecast for a website called “the power path” that a friend of mine turned me on to. The theme for November is “Discovery.”

This is discovery on many levels. Discovery of parts of yourself you never knew or have forgotten about, newfound stamina for change, flexibility you did not think you had, uncomfortable truths about yourself or others, and many things that have been hidden under the surface both personally and in your greater environment and communities. This is all part of the completion cycle of this year as well as an opening into a new landscape that requires a final clearing of past attachments.

Oh, this really resonated with me. Especially since I drove from Vancouver to Palm Springs by myself (with my two dogs of course but they don’t drive). Many people might think this is no big deal, but for me it was. I didn’t do it to prove to anyone that I could. I really tried to find someone to ~~drive~~ accompany me as it was my worst fear to be going it alone. I’m the kind of person who just likes to drive to the grocery store (but I’ll take my scooter instead if the weather is nice). I don’t like traffic, bad weather, lengthy drives, driving at night or being alone on a long drive. So that’s a long list of “no’s.”

Every possibility of having someone accompany me ended up in failure. A friend, who early on said she’d go with me because she has family in Los Angeles, ended up getting cancer (happy to report that she’s doing well). Then a friend of a friend who contemplated going to Palm Springs decided to go to Japan. Then two more people had something crop up unexpectedly (or that’s what they told me). So yeah, I was a bit desperate. And that’s when it dawned on me that if all else fails (which it did) I had no choice but to go it alone.

As it got closer and closer to the time of leaving I dreaded it more and more. I put an app on my phone for directions. I put my phone on a thing that’s supposed to stick to my windshield so that I could clearly see the directions instead of looking down. Said apparatus broke away from the windshield less than two blocks from leaving my place. Fell on the floor by my feet along with the phone, turning the windshield wiper switch on. I couldn’t take the risk of this happening on the highway so for the rest of the trip my phone sat in the passenger seat with me glancing down at it on occasion the whole way.

Luckily I could at least listen to the Humphrey Bogart sounding voice on my app which said things like: “cops up ahead – I wonder if I know these guys from the clubhouse?” “Make a left turn – like you mean it!” “Hazard up ahead – but you and me kid, we eat hazards for breakfast!” In some sense I found his voice calming – until it got repeatedly annoying.

But I made it. I made it in record time too. Surprised myself by remaining remarkably calm, focused & clear headed. I removed the roadblocks in my head that told me “I can’t.” When I got to Palm Springs someone who never made the drive said that it should be relatively easy because all you have to do is follow the road. But no, it’s not that simple. You have to pay constant attention, traffic patterns change and the weather was all over the map.

Wasn’t expecting torrential rain from Seattle to Oregon. Wasn’t expecting fog so heavy so as not to be able to see clearly for a few hours leaving Oregon. Certainly wasn’t expecting to be stopped at the border, taken inside to be finger printed while they went through my car. It was only an hour delay though and the only thing they threw away was Layla’s favourite bag of unopened dog treats which were made in Thailand – while missing my open jar of Panang curry paste, also from Thailand.

On arrival, everything went much smoother than expected. I arranged ahead to hire someone to clean up my outdoor space so I didn’t have to rake dry leaves for days. Everything is operating perfectly. I have a clean, cute, comfortable space. Note to self: you worried for nothing! Let this be a lesson for everything.

The completion aspect is coming together. It’s more about finishing a project I promised myself that I would. I can tell you more about this later. It’s something that I had ruminated about for a long time but never got around to starting until recently. It’s something my late husband said I should do and while I really liked the idea, I just didn’t know how or when to start. Now it’s coming together and I just have to tweak it before putting it out there.

The Clarity is realizing that I’m on the right path. Clarity often comes after courage and completion. When thoughts are aligned and direction is clear. Anxiety ends up fading and calm takes its place. This is what is happening.

“Clarity isn’t just knowing — it’s becoming. It’s the moment your inner compass points true, and you finally feel ready to walk your path.” I said “your” but I really mean “my.” It’s my path. But you can do it too.

The time will come

when, with elation

you will greet yourself arriving

at your own door, in your own mirror

– Derek Walcott (Nobel-Prize winning poet, playwright, and painter) – “Love after Love”

Cheers to three! First outing in the desert – Sammy G’s.

How about you? Have you faced a fear or started or completed something you’ve put on the back burner for as long as you can remember?

This was the “seft-care”card I pulled the day I feft.

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Musings: The Rise of the Single Heroine

Life doesn’t always wrap up with a “happily ever after.”

I couldn’t help but notice that two of my favourite TV/Movie heroines over the recent years have ended their series with something in common.

I’m talking about Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker) from “Sex and The City” (SATC) & the follow up series “And Just Like That” and Lady Mary (Michelle Dockery) from “Downton Abbey” the series and subsequent movies.

They couldn’t be more different in appearance and circumstance but one thing they did have in common was style, confidence, social standing, strength of character and that most men were attracted to them. But as we know in real life, situations change.

I unabashedly watched every episode of “SATC” back in the day as well as the movies. I very ashamedly watched the cringe-worthy follow up “And Just Like That” because like most everyone else who watched it too, we wanted to know how these women’s lives turned out.

Same with “Downton Abbey – The Grand Finale” which I just watched on the big screen. It’s as if we cannot get enough of these people. I watched and loved every episode of “Downton” the TV series, and the movies as well.

Most of us identify (or try to) with Carrie Bradshaw and Lady Mary. We don’t want to see them end up alone. The normal happy ending is that they end up with the perfect partner (or, as perfect as possible)! Why did the writers make the endings…so….solitary?

We’re not used to seeing them that way. We prefer to think that their situation is only a temporary state between relationships. But what if it isn’t?

Many women find themselves single not because they planned it, but because life unfolded that way. Yet within that necessity, some discover strength, freedom, and clarity they never expected. Being alone doesn’t mean being lonely. Having a partner is nice for sharing the good times and complaining about the bad. For me, a big part of connection with affection is having someone who has my back and vice versa, with good strength of character.

Men (or partners in general) don’t complete who we are as a whole. They should “complement” not only”compliment” us. The whole point of having or being someone in someone’s life is to supplement, not supplant one’s life. Tom Cruise in “Jerry Macguire” should’ve said “you complement me” instead of “you complete me.”

So the writers have chosen to end the story with the heroines alone to reflect realism and shift away from traditional romantic tropes. The rise of the single woman isn’t just about empowerment or independence; it’s also about navigating the reality of solitude, sometimes chosen, sometimes circumstantial.

It challenges the outdated notion that a woman’s story must culminate in coupledom. Instead, it celebrates autonomy and self-worth. These endings resonate with audiences who’ve experienced heartbreak, ambiguity, or have chosen solitude themselves or had it thrust upon them.

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Musings: Character vs Personality

Some shine and some suck; but everyone has a personality. It’s how we show up. Character, on the other hand, is who we are when it counts.

Something I’ve been thinking about is people’s character. We’re all familiar with the difference between character vs personality – this is just a reminder to pay attention.

I’ve noticed some changes lately in a few people who I’ve lost respect for over their apparent lack of character, which led me to write this post. It’s such a disappointment when that happens, but reveals a lot about the person. While both personality and character are distinct aspects that make us who we are; character is very different than personality and overall, more important. Personality can show up quickly but shift depending on mood. Character is more stable, revealed over time and loyal.

Knowing the difference between character and personality is as important as knowing the difference between saying and doing, between doing the talk and doing the walk (which too many of us ignore or overlook, especially when judging character and intentions).

It’s easy to tell someone that you care, but if you don’t show it, it’s just words. Having strength of character is being mindful. It’s about having backbone and knowing instinctively what is right. Character doesn’t show right off the bat – it takes some time to realize a person’s moral compass.

A playful comparison on this is when we get dressed. We create a sort of armour or how we want to show up for that day. Your outfit is what people notice first, just like your personality which is your social signature. But what is the fabric made of? Quality? Durability? Character is the fabric that holds up over time.

Character is your inner compass – values, ethics, and moral backbone.

It’s revealed in how you treat others. Traits like honesty, integrity, and kindness fall under character.

Here’s another thing I’ve noticed and maybe you have too. Sometimes the person you least expect to show up in a time of need is the one who surprises you the most by showing up first and going beyond expectations. And that’s when a depleted faith in humanity is restored. Because there are a lot of characters ~~the~~ ~~other kind~~ out there!

Be someone even a dog would trust. That’s the true measure of character.

What do you think?

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Musings….for the love of Dogs

It’s not money, it’s not diamonds, it’s not gold or other material things ~~okay, maybe a little~~. One of the secrets to happiness is enjoying canine companionship.

**Layla** (lying down) & **Adele.** Photo: d. king

My friend sent me a link to a book entitled THIS DOG WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE – a uniquely insightful, uplifting, emotional, and informative book that shows us how dogs make our lives better by making us better people.

I’m totally on board with this. A dog did change my life. Actually, we changed each other’s lives. His name was Jia Jia. I wrote a story about how he changed my life (link at bottom if you’re interested – he passed away five years ago). Now I have two reunited litter-mate sheltie females that are maybe not my whole world ~~okay, maybe a little~~, but definitely make my world whole. I could go so far as to say that they complete me. I cannot imagine my life would be complete without them.

Why do dogs make us better people you might ask?

Because they have an uncanny ability to bring out the best in us. Whether it’s through their loyalty, their boundless joy, or their quiet companionship, they shape our character in ways that are both subtle and profound. You heard the phrase “Be the person your dog thinks you are.”

Dogs rely on us for care. We tend to their needs by feeding, walking, comforting and it helps cultivate a deeper sense of responsibility and emotional awareness. And in return, they offer unconditional love. And love is all or most of what we need.

They love bones too, but don’t have one bad bone in their bodies. They do not disappoint, abuse or abandon us. Only people do that.

Their ability to sense our moods encourages us to be more attuned to others’ feelings.

Dogs live in the moment. They don’t worry about tomorrow or dwell on yesterday. They like routine. Simple things like a walk, a treat, a belly rub that reminds us to slow down and appreciate life’s small joys.

Dogs get us outside, moving, and engaging with the world. They can be ice breakers.

They make us more mindful. They help reduce stress and anxiety, making us calmer and more emotionally balanced.

Have you ever known a dog to hold a grudge? They don’t. They forgive quickly and love fiercely. Their loyalty inspires us to be more devoted and trustworthy in our relationships.

And that’s a big part of having a wonderful life – at least for this girl!

You know the funny thing about all of this? I used to be a cat person!

https://girlwhowouldbeking

.com/2020/05/19/jia-jia-2002-2020-a-dogs-purpose/

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Musings…Letting Go

Letting go… those two words feel like a slow exhale after holding your breath for too long.

They conjure up images that are both luminous and ominous. We can experience both simultaneously and it isn’t always graceful.

We’ve all been there… about the many things we choose to let go of, and the many things we must let go of. That balance between the deliberate and the inevitable produces two very different kinds of release. I believe that depending on the circumstance, one teaches us to act, and the other to learn to accept. Deliberate letting go is a choice. Inevitable letting go arrives uninvited. Balance is found in the grace to move forward whether with intention or acceptance, and to trust that either way, we’re being reshaped for what’s next.

Letting go of old grudges and resentments once we realize they cost us peace of mind is a good thing. Also; habits we’ve outgrown, and of course, relationships that no longer align with our values. It comes with ambiguous moments when it’s not always clear whether letting go is right, or whether we’re abandoning something too soon.

Then life hands us endings we didn’t choose. People we lose through passing, change or distance. Losing someone you love through death is the worst kind of ending. There’s no controlling that outcome and no turning back. Sometimes it’s health related, although I’m a firm believer of being able to control our health to a large extent through diet and a stress-free lifestyle. There are the opportunities that vanish before we have a chance to change the outcome. The only things beyond our control are youth and time. Everything else is negotiable.

Sometimes letting go feels like being pulled apart, only to be stitched together again with completely different threads. But it’s almost always a kind of rebirth, even when it’s messy. The feelings of estrangement and unfamiliar clarity that come with new changes can also open doors to resilience and reinvention.

Through all the letting go in my life that has come from either a great loss or the relief of a welcomed new beginning, I’ve always had a knack for re-inventing myself to accommodate the new circumstances. Some people are better at this than others. It doesn’t take away the pain, it just gives you an opportunity for a different kind of freedom.

For me personally, for where I’m at right now, letting go is about making space. It’s about making room for something better aligned with who I am at this moment in time.

Space for new people, fresh ideas, ~~clothes~~ …growth. An overall feeling of lightness and freedom. I want my inner world to feel as rich as my outer one. I feel like I’m stepping into a new version of myself. A stronger, healthier version, albeit with a quiet acceptance that doesn’t need fixing or forcing. There’s more of a flow and a trust that life will unfold the way it’s supposed to organically, rather than trying to bend it to my will. That’s what I’m telling myself and since repeated thoughts can form beliefs, and beliefs influence actions, over time they become reality.

Here’s something that resonated with me because it’s not always easy to let go of something beyond our control (I’ve had it for a while but cannot remember where I found it).

We spend our lives trying to anchor our transience in some illusion of permanence and stability. We lay plans, we make vows, we backbone the flow of uncertainty with habits and routines that lull us with the comforting dream of predictability and control, only to find ourselves again and again bent at the knees with surrender to forces and events vastly larger than us. In those moments, kneeling in a pool of the unknown, the heart breaks open and allows life; life itself, not the representation of life, that comes from control, to rush in.

Let your heart be broken: Life and Music from a classical composer – Tina Davidson

Notes:

“If you’re already familiar with my blog, thank you for checking in. I do appreciate it. These “musings” from the margins of my mind, give me an opportunity to share a deeper side of myself that does not always (or ever) come through in my regular blog posts revolving around style, food and fun. This is, after all, a Life and Style blog. From the in-betweens of everyday life, this space holds thoughts that wander, questions without answers, and reflections on what it means to simply be. It’s unpolished, personal, and often quietly profound. I hope you enjoy exploring the challenging depths we all carry. On another note:

In my Vancouver book club, we were all on the same page (pun intended) so to speak, by choosing books that would help provide some grounding wisdom and direction when life felt uncertain or overwhelming. We were going through similar feelings and it was good to share thoughts and pages with like-minded people.

For instance; our first book BITTERSWEET by Susan Cain – helped to get us through a grief period. Next came LETTING GO: The Pathway of Surrender” by Dr. David R. Hawkins – to help seek emotional healing. The book blends clinical insight with spiritual depth, making it useful for everyday challenges like stress, relationships, and self-worth. It was a great follow-up after “Bittersweet.”

One of its most quoted lines is: “Letting go involves being aware of a feeling, letting it come up, staying with it, and letting it run its course without wanting to make it different or do anything about it.” (Easier read than done).

Then we had enough of all that self growth re moving forward. We graduated to a book that explains us all: SAPIENS: A Brief History of Humankind by Yuval Noah Harari – a fast-paced journey through human history; from ancient foragers to modern-day tech. It’s a mix of history, science, and philosophy, all wrapped in a thought-provoking narrative.

Now on to the next chapter…

How about you? Is there something you’ve had to move on from recently?

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Musings…Textpectations

Texting has changed the way we communicate. Think about it!

Once upon a time, we made phone calls, using those boxy, bulky things that we had to speak into and said “hello”when we answered, and a human responded… out loud. We used to talk. Then texting happened.

Now we Type. And somehow we all agreed that communicating in cryptic abbreviations, passive-aggressive punctuation, and emojis was more efficient. So entire conversations started happening without a single full sentence. I have some grievances around it. For instance:

Lost in Transmission

We say “lol” when we’re not laughing. We send thumbs-ups to end conversations we don’t know how to finish. Just the letter“K” can mean “cool,” “okay,” or “you’ve just ended this relationship.” And don’t forget to read through your text before sending, because auto-fill does some weird things. This happens a lot. One small typo can summon up quite the unexpected meaning.

Text: “Running late! Be there soon, just kidnapping some coffee.” Translation: “just grabbing some coffee.” Autocorrect had… darker plans. Not meaning to start my morning with caffeine and a felony.

“I had a long day… can’t wait to get home and seduce on the couch.” (meant; snooze)

All this compressed form of language prioritizes speed over meaning, which changes how we express feelings or resolve misunderstandings. Without vocal tone or facial cues, texts can be misinterpreted. Emojis have become crucial tone indicators so what used to be grammar, is now emotional context.

I detest texting for that reason. Many times I’ve made errors in judgment and have been confused (and have confused others) via texting.

Oh; and how about those awful looking ear buds that I still refuse to wear? The ones where you forget that people don’t really talk to themselves (although some do) and where people don’t pay attention anymore. I just said hello to an acquaintance twice and he didn’t even respond because he was deep in earbud mode.

Then there’s the expectation for instant replies. Silence gets interpreted as disinterest. Can You Hear My Silence? Relationships can feel more connected, or more exhausting because of constant availability.

Sure, it’s faster. But is it better?

Texting has made us more available than ever, but strangely, it also feels like we’re more alone together. We edit ourselves mid-thought. We avoid discomfort by ghosting. Even our deepest feelings come with a character limit now.

I’m not anti-text. I’m just more pro-connection. I just wonder if we’re trading clarity for convenience and if someday, we’ll look up from our screens and realize we’ve forgotten how to really talk.

Don’t get me wrong; I text like everyone else. It’s convenient. It’s fast. Sometimes, it’s even sweet.

But I do wonder if we’re editing ourselves into oblivion. If we’re saying less and interpreting more. If being “reachable” 24/7 is making us feel more distant, not less.

Just things I’ve noticed. Through the tiny glowing rectangle we all keep glued to our palms. Apparently, as a collective, we seem to be all fine with this.

Have you any pet peeves of your own regarding this?

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Musings…Life as a Sandwich

Life is peculiar. Think about it. We come into this world, we live and then we leave. Birth on one end, death on the other…it’s what you put in the middle that makes it tasty. That middle is like a sandwich.

You don’t need a gourmet spread in your sandwich every time; but you can stuff it with the bits you love, the parts you crave, and a few things you only added because they were there. Sometimes it’s full of baloney! Mine usually includes a wild streak of hot sauce and it can get messy at times. But however we choose to fill in between the two pieces of bread, It should all makes sense when we bite in.

In between life and death there’s a dash between the year we’re born and the year we die. The dash is the only part we get to write.

The mad dash in between is the most important thing. It’s how we choose to live and what we do to accomplish everything we want. If we’re not careful, the dash can end in a flash.

How do you like your life? I prefer mine well done, thank you.

I want to live it like it’s a limited-edition, full-flavored, double-chocolate scoop with sprinkles ride. Always sprinkles and a side of sparkle.

Because…

That dash; so small on the page, yet it holds everything. It’s the quiet punctuation between two dates on a tombstone, but in truth, it’s the sum total of a life: every sunrise watched, every tear shed, every laugh shared.

It’s where we fall in love, fail forward, grow older, and gather meaning. It doesn’t shout. It whispers in the choices we make daily…making insightful choices, how we treat people, what we chase, what we let go of. Living well isn’t about making that dash longer; it’s about making it deeper, fuller and more awake.

I believe that a book I read as part of a book club, got me started thinking about all of this. I didn’t enjoy the book Midnight Library by Matt Haig as a whole, however; the idea that someone wasn’t happy with her life and then got several chances to try different versions of the life she could’ve had, made me think that we should try to get the life we have right now, as right as humanly possible. Life is not a dress rehearsal!

An excerpt:

“It is easy to mourn the lives we aren’t living. Easy to wish we’d developed other talents, said yes to different offers. Easy to wish we’d worked harder, loved better, handled our finances more astutely, been more popular, stayed in the band, gone to Australia, said yes to the coffee or done more bloody yoga. It takes no effort to miss the friends we didn’t make and the work we didn’t do, the people we didn’t do and the people we didn’t marry and the children we didn’t have.

It is not difficult to see yourself through the lens of other people, and to wish you were all the different kaleidoscopic versions of you they wanted you to be. It is easy to regret, and keep regretting, ad infinitum, until our time runs out. But it is not lives we regret not living that are the real problem.

*It is the regret itself. It’s the regret that makes us shrivel and wither and feel like our own and other people’s worst enemy. We can’t tell if any of those other versions would’ve been better or worse. Those lives are happening, it is true, but you are happening as well, and that is the happening we have to focus on.”

FYI: had I not said “yes” to that cup of coffee, I would not have met and later married my late husband.

To paraphrase Franklin D. Roosevelt’s famous quote (which was about fear) – *the mark of a good life is where there’s nothing to regret but regret itself.

In closing…the birth and death is what we inherit. But the dash? That’s ours. We could think of it as a Wi-Fi Signal: sometimes strong, sometimes spotty, but we’re all just trying to stay connected.

Make the middle count. How are you going to write your dash? Fill the dash with meaning!

Are you living a dashing life?

THINKAboutit

Musings…

on INSPIRATION & COURAGE

Aside from having written about Style, Art, Food, Beauty and Health, I want to include sharing some thoughts and exploring different ideas and possibilities which I believe embodies the word “Musings.” In between regular daily activities and invites to theatre openings and wine tastings, I’ve been working on some new projects which I hope to share with you at a later date. I’m forging ahead and pushing myself a little outside my normal comfort zone. It’s a new era.In the past, this blog used to be posted daily, but now I write when the feeling strikes or after having attended certain events for the purpose of a review. For now, let’s explore the origin of the word “musings.”

MUSE – in a creative sense, a muse is a person or force that sparks inspiration, often for artists, writers, or musicians. In Greek mythology, the Muses were nine goddesses who inspired literature, art, and music.

MUSES – Some famous muses throughout history include Yoko Ono for John Lennon and French photographer/painter Dora Maar for Pablo Picasso. Andy Warhol had a fascinating array of muses; people who inspired his art and shaped his creative world. Some of his most famous muses included socialite and actress Edie Sedgwick, singers Debby Harry and Grace Jones, and legendary fashion editor Diana Vreeland.

MUSINGS – “Musings” refers to thoughts, reflections, or ideas often deep, wandering, or contemplative. When someone shares their musings, they’re offering a glimpse into their inner world, whether it’s philosophical ponderings, personal reflections, or just daydreams about the meaning of life. In the space I’m in right now, I’m focusing on Inspiration and Courage; both help to shape my world which is always evolving.

INSPIRATION is that spark that ignites creativity and motivates us to pursue new ideas or take action. It’s a powerful force that can come from a variety of sources like:

Nature: The beauty of a sunrise, the tranquility of a forest, or the power of the ocean.
People: Role models, mentors, or even stories of individuals overcoming challenges.
Art and Culture: Music, literature, paintings, and other creative expressions that evoke emotions.
Experiences: Personal moments of joy, sorrow, success, or failure that shape our perspective.

COURAGE is a powerful force. It’s that moment when you trust yourself enough to take a risk, speak up, or embrace uncertainty. It’s not the absence of fear; it’s facing fear and choosing to move forward despite it. It’s also about the awareness of serious risk. Facing courage doing something right, good or best. In these cases, an individual must face internal challenges (be they emotional or cognitive) and push through despite potential harm or personal loss. And then, sometimes simply getting through the day when life feels overwhelming takes courage. It also takes some bravery to either confront or walk away from someone who you considered a good friend when that person all of a sudden turns a 180 and shows complete uncaring and disrespect.

A friend of mine emailed me a website called THE POWER HOUSE. Their forecast for the current month really resonated with me so I’ll share a couple paragraphs and if you’re interested, you can read more at the link below.

COURAGE: Mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty.

It takes courage to try something new. It takes courage to change a familiar pattern. It takes courage to speak your truth. It takes courage to heal. It takes courage to take a risk or take action where the outcome is unknown. It takes courage to open your heart. It takes courage to see everything as spirit. It takes courage to be neutral and not judge. It takes courage to be flexible. It takes courage to say no and it takes courage to say yes. It takes courage to ask for help. It takes courage to be yourself. It takes courage to be disciplined. It takes courage to face an uncharted future. It takes courage to let go of the past. It takes courage to release attachments to how things should be or should have been. It takes courage to stay present. It takes courage to stay out of fear. It takes courage to dissolve old structures of security making way for something new. It takes courage to trust. It takes courage to do what you know is right for you and others.

We chose “courage” as the theme for the month since all of the above will manifest in some way this month as we navigate yet another interesting time of potential that has its ups and downs. This is not about whether change is afoot or not, it is about how you handle it. Everyone has something they need to be more courageous about. For some, it may be about being more adventurous with relationships and opportunities, for others it may be more internal, facing old patterns of dyfunction that need to change. Whatever you are personally faced with this month, it will help to tap into more courage, trust and personal power in order to handle the challenges as well as the opportunities.

There is an underlying theme of “power” what it means to you, how you feel about your personal power, what your beliefs and attitudes are about power, it’s use, abuse, and balance. Watch your reactions around this theme and keep your focus on how you can heal your own issues around personal power instead of fretting about and judging what you witness happening “out there”. Remember this is a year of artisan creativity with lots of opportunity to reinvent and recreate both our belief systems and our structures for manifesting the life we want.

This does not have to be a time of strife and struggle. There are plenty of influences this month that can support tremendous abundance, prosperity and success in manifesting. The key will be to access your courage as well as your inner confidence and intuition that confirms you are on the right track.

I am on the right track. How about you?

I AM MY OWN MUSE

The Power Path website focuses on shamanism and indigenous wisdom, offering teachings, retreats, and training programs. It was founded by José and Lena Stevens, who have studied with shamans from Mexico and Peru. The site provides monthly forecasts, remote shamanic healing sessions, and courses on shamanic practices.

THINKAboutit

Life is Like a Box of Coins

“You have, especially in striking encounters with strangers, two outcomes, but never know which side of human character is going to come up…”heads” (everybody wins), “tails” (everybody loses).”

I had a most unusual day on what happened to be my birthday, and what turned out to be a lesson in human nature and the intricate balance between good and evil.

Started out with meeting two friends for breakfast and a catch-up at Spencer’s; one of my favourite spots. A very nice start to the day.

That afternoon I decided to take my dogs to their favourite Palm Springs park to let them run around and enjoy the big open space.

We were there for about one hour when all of a sudden the mood changed when a man showed up with an oversized dog, on a tight leash. Adele started to go up to the dog when the man yelled at me to get her away; which I did right away. He said to put my dogs on a leash. There was barely anyone at the park at this time and they weren’t bothering anyone. I continued to let them play away from the man and his dog. Then another man showed up out of nowhere and started shouting obscenities at me. Turns out these two men are a married couple and they wanted me to know that they are law-abiding citizens. They also wanted me to know that they considered me a stupid, f….ing “C” word – and they didn’t mean conservative. It became vile very quickly and they continued to scream and quite frankly, I didn’t know what they’d be capable of. They were clearly trying to create a disturbance out of nothing. A man with two children come to my defence and then that man also got verbally attacked. To the point where one of the verbally abusive men came too close for comfort. We ended up leaving the park. I put a non-emergency call to report the incident – just in case I come across them again. One man indicated that things could turn out quite badly and I don’t know exactly what he meant by that, except it didn’t make sense to stay.

Wow; excitement to my day that I will not forget.

That evening I walked to a nearby, very nice, dog-friendly restaurant on my own to celebrate my special day. I don’t believe in a birthday week or whole month as many here do; and I don’t go out of my way to alert people of my birthday because I think it makes them feel obligated. Of course after the fact, some tell me I should’ve mentioned it. Maybe, however; dining alone can be an enjoyable experience. There’s freedom of choice, no distractions and time to self-reflect. The people-watching can be great too.

Speaking of people-watching….an interesting group came in and sat down at the next outdoor table just as I was deciding what to order for dessert. Four people; a man with two beautiful doodle dogs, another man and two women; all unrelated to each other as it turns out. Three out of four of them were married but their partners were not with them at the restaurant. The men were friends, colleagues and periodontists. They were straight. The women were friends since high school.

The man with the dogs noticed my two dogs and asked it he could bring his dogs over to introduce them. I love Palm Springs so much for their dog friendly attitude. He came over with his two well-behaved female dogs (sisters as well) and then went back to his table. At which point he asked if I would join them. I declined at first but they all insisted. So I went over, really enjoyed their company and had my dessert with them. The women had already had their dinner in the restaurant and were on their way out when they met these two men who were on their way in to have dinner.

The men asked them to join them and offered to buy them a drink so they said sure. The women were from elsewhere, here visiting and staying at a the Rowan hotel downtown. One man was visiting from Chicago, the other lives here in town. They were all very fun and friendly. Turned out to be such an unexpected, pleasant evening with lots of laughs. When my bill came, the man with the dogs quickly picked it up and said it was his pleasure to take care of it.

AFTER THE SECOND BIRTHDAY “TOSS FROM THE BOX!”

Heads-up; what turned out to be an unpleasant afternoon experience, ended up as a very enjoyable end to my evening.