The Perfect Wife –  an unexpected expectation

How can you pass by a window that displays the words “The Perfect Wife” and not wonder what story sits behind it? It certainly got my attention.

Someone noticed me lingering, opened the door, and welcomed me into what turned out to be a surprisingly intriguing exhibit. One that dives into the complexity of the human condition while challenging social stereotypes and cultural norms we’ve all been handed. That someone, as it turned out, was the artist.

I loved the display and the humorous captions that accompanied them – especially now, when so many women are saying, “I want to be neither a Nurse nor a Purse.”

The Perfect Wife is a narrative-driven project that examines traditional heterosexual marriage through satire, exposing the cultural expectations placed on women through the nostalgic visual language of mid-century editorials.

Through exaggeration and irony, familiar stereotypes of devotion and obedience are pushed to their limits, revealing the social structures that sustain them. The result is not parody for its own sake, but satire with precision.

The Perfect Wife does not argue against marriage itself. Instead, it questions the conditions under which it is entered and the silent contracts it often contains. Beneath it lies a simple truth: choice is not universal.

That dinner ain’t gonna cook itself!

Created through an all-female artistic collaboration, the exhibition combines photography, short film, installations, and art performance. Together, these elements construct a dysfunctional domestic environment that encourages viewers to reflect on tradition, identity, and the gender expectations that continue to shape women’s lives.

The story unfolds across familiar chapters – roles women are expected to perform when stepping into “tradition.”  A Mother.  A Cook. A Housekeeper. A Hen.  A Personal Assistant.  A Lover. A catalogue of emotional labour, domestic management and care work, absorbed into a single role, often without acknowledgment.

Within marriage, these imbalances often remain invisible, operating quietly behind closed doors where tradition can function as a form of control.

When I was married, I naturally took on the role of the cook – not out of obligation, but out of joy. I loved experimenting in the kitchen, and my late husband was the kind of appreciative audience who made every meal feel like a small celebration. I was equally lucky that he was a self-sufficient unicorn who handled laundry and cleanup without hesitation. That kind of mutual contribution is rarer than it should be, and only in hindsight do I see how much it shaped the harmony in our home.

But personal experience doesn’t erase the broader truth: millions of women worldwide are still denied basic rights. Progress is fragile, and history has shown us how easily it can be undone.

Presented as an immersive experience, the work invites viewers to consider a simple question: “If the image has evolved, but the structure has not – has anything truly changed.”

Walking through the exhibit, I couldn’t help noticing how much of this “perfect wife” mythology still lingers in subtle ways. It made me think about the roles we inherit without ever agreeing to them, and how important it is to name them before we can change them. The “perfect wife” may be a relic, but the pressure to perform her still exists –  and seeing it exposed so clearly felt like a small act of liberation.

The exhibit is on until June 4th, 2025.  Some editorial taken from the website.  Photos (of photos) d. king

About the Artist:

Valeriia Polishchuk is a Ukrainian-Canadian multidisciplinary artist and filmmaker. Her bio says that she was raised by a single mother in a small town in Ukraine, she developed an early understanding of independence and the importance of a strong female voice.   

Working primarily with photography and film, her visual language blends fashion elements, bold colours, striking patterns, and cinematic framing.

About the Gallery:

ADDITION (also known as Addition Agency) is a contemporary art and design gallery housed in a landmark building – located in Vancouver’s Armoury and Design District – a neighborhood shaped by architecture studios, design showrooms, and leading creative practices. The ground-floor gallery, originally conceived by Niels Bendtsen, has been reimagined as a spacious, light-filled environment dedicated to contemporary art, collectible design, and spatial storytelling.

Visitors are invited to explore a rotating selection of artworks, sculptural objects, and installations from Canadian, Peruvian, Mexican, and Pacific Northwest artists and makers.

Musings on Mindfulness

Mindfulness is everywhere right now – apps, watches, workshops, corporate trainings, even casual conversations. But its popularity says far more about our culture than our spirituality. If anything, the trend reveals how overwhelmed we’ve become.Shouldn’t paying attention to what’s right and what’s not be a natural part of daily life? Do we really need to train ourselves to be thoughtful? Has the world gone that mad? Maybe so. For those of us who consider ourselves reasonably grounded, the whole thing can feel a little surreal – as if our normal instincts have been put on steroids.

This hit me recently when a friend mentioned that his son is “practicing self‑care and mindfulness.” He’s not alone. It’s as if people are suddenly discovering that being self‑aware and trying to do the right thing is… good. There’s even a spiritual layer emerging. I overheard one man ask another who his “spiritual advisor” is. And I suppose if people need life coaches now, spiritual coaches were bound to appear too – said with a wink, not agreement.

But I don’t think people are becoming more spiritually curious. I think they’re becoming more overstimulated, digitally exhausted, and emotionally threadbare.

Recent analyses show that mindfulness has shifted from a niche wellness practice to a mainstream coping mechanism. The global mindfulness market is projected to exceed $9 billion by 2027, driven by stress, digital overload, and workplace burnout. Mindfulness is becoming less about enlightenment and more about surviving overstimulation.

Meditation apps now analyze stress patterns, sleep cycles, and biometrics to deliver personalized sessions. This is mindfulness as a tech‑driven commodity, not an organic practice. Think about it: Apple Watches nudging you to breathe. Meditation apps sending push notifications. Mindfulness with metrics.

Is it a practice or a product?

It’s strange to think that something meant to slow us down now comes packaged with data, dashboards, and market value. This trend reflects a culture that can’t pause long enough to breathe, so it tries to wedge mindfulness into the cracks of an already chaotic day.

The truth is simple: Mindfulness isn’t trending because we’re becoming enlightened – it’s trending because we’re exhausted because we’ve built a world that constantly pulls us out of the present.

What can we do?

Start by removing distractions. Spend less time on your phone. I personally leave my phone at home when taking my dogs for their first walk of the day, preferring to focus only on them. Turn off non‑essential notifications. Put your device in another room during meals and sleep. Create “no‑scroll zones” in the bedroom, bathroom, and at the dinner table. Presence becomes easier when your brain isn’t being hijacked every few minutes.

In the end, mindfulness isn’t popular because we’ve suddenly become wiser or more spiritually attuned. It’s popular because the world has become so loud, so fast, and so relentlessly demanding that we’re grasping for anything that helps us feel human again.

Maybe the real goal isn’t to perfect mindfulness – but to build a life that doesn’t constantly pull us away from it.

Until then, we’ll keep breathing, pausing, and being present – not because it’s fashionable, but because it’s the only way to stay sane in a world that never stops moving.

Mindfulness isn’t the cure — it’s the symptom.

Thoughts?

 

Midday Mood Menu

First of my new A Moment, A Mood and a Meal series.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve become accustomed to having two meals a day for quite some time now.  Usually, it’s breakfast and dinner. It’s not necessary to have three meals a day anymore – maybe it never was.  As you get older you tend to eat less.

But sometimes, my mood calls for a midday meal, which ends up being the only meal of the day because it’s too late for breakfast and too early for dinner. It becomes a lingering late lunch.  Lately I’ve been discovering the exotic sample tasting menu.

I haven’t travelled anywhere International for a number of years now.  It’s my choice to not be away from my dogs for maybe no more than two weeks a year.  Those two weeks have been spent going to Toronto for TIFF (film festival) and Montreal to visit family.  Other than that, I have to live vicariously through other people’s adventures. At least for now. One of the things I miss the most about travelling other than the sight seeing, is the food.

So I’ve decided to indulge my desire for foodie adventures through various tasting menus from exotic restaurants around Vancouver.  A journey through food so to speak.

I just had a wonderful tasting experience at Banana Leaf restaurant.  Their Malaysian roots take inspiration from Indonesia, Singapore, Thailand, China, and India. They offer unique dishes you won’t find elsewhere.

Sitting on their outside patio with my dogs was like being on a little adventure. It was a six-course tasting for one (for two people they serve everything individually) which started with a bright pineapple papaya Asian salad (papaya, pineapple, green leaves, capsicum vinaigrette, tomato, fish sauce, crushed peanuts, sesame seeds, brown shallot)….

Then came a platter with:

Roti Canai (handmade flaky flatbread with vegetarian coconut curry sauce), Chicken Satay with a spicy peanut dip, an aromatic Rendang Beef curry (an iconic slow-cooked lean beef, coconut milk, turmeric, coriander, galangal, lemongrass, curry spices & herbs), breaded wild Sablefish (malay black sweet sauce, garlic, caramelized ginger, shallot, chinese wine) with ginger garlic rice. All served on top of a banana leaf.

Dessert was coconut panna cotta (pandanus juice, cooked coconut cream, mango puree & gula Melaka). So delicious.

They also have an amazing refreshment menu featuring everything from young coconut water to pineapple, cucumber + ginger smoothies and passionfruit, mango mocktails.

Their cocktail list includes lychee mojitos, Thai lemongrass basil margaritas, and a house signature “Leaf Me Up,” made with lemongrass‑infused tequila, banana liqueur, lime juice, pandan syrup, Thai chili, and your choice of aquafaba or egg white.

Something about that meal reminded me that I don’t have to board a plane to feel transported. For an hour or two, those flavours took me somewhere warm, bright, and far away – and that was exactly the escape my midday mood was craving.

There’s a whole world of flavour in this city, and I’m ready to explore it one midday mood at a time.  But not every day of course.  

Banana Leaf Malaysian Cuisine operates five locations across Metro Vancouver.  I was at the one in Kits on Broadway. Here is the main website for all five:

 

Confessions of a Childless Dog Mom

The childless dog mom is a special breed unto her own – a powerful force of nature, unhinged in the best way, and capable of turning a casual Sunday into a full‑scale canine festival with nothing but two dogs, a credit card, a theme, and a dream.

It’s our birthday and we’ll bark if we want to!

My two Shelties, blissfully unaware of their own celebrity status, awoke to discover they were the guests of honour at what can only be described as a fur‑covered social event of the season. It wasn’t exactly a pet gala (although what a great idea – maybe next season?), but it was their 10th birthday, which is basically a canine milestone.

We let our favourite pet store Benni & Co take care of the paw-ty details – the goody bags, the treats, the special cake, the presents – the whole curated canine experience.

Meanwhile, the proud, childless dog moms hovered like stage parents at a toddler pageant, adjusting flower crowns, fixing bandanas, and saying things like “Smile for Mommy!”to creatures who were actively trying to lick the floor. It was chaos. It was adorable. It was everything. But overall, it was a statement.

My point being…we may not have human children, but we will throw elaborate celebrations for our four‑legged creatures. And we will do it with gusto, glitter, and absolutely no shame.

Some of the guests:

Daisy & Brad
Maya (Rosa’s girl)
Charlie belongs to Sangita – the owner.
Gus with Layla
Daisy checking out her loot bag.  She was on point for the pink floral themed party.
The goody bags had stickers that looked like Layla & Adele.  The cups were bennicinnos (like ice cream) for the pups.

Sangita (the lovely owner) sharing a box of presents from Benni & Co.

Some childless dog moms:

Laurel & Brady
Marta & Coco
Tammy with Brad & Lisa with Daisy

Call it excessive if you want – we prefer the term canine cultural enrichment.

Birthday parties now on at BENNI & CO. pet store:

https://www.instagram.com/benni.and.co/

Cake provided by LumiiPaws Pet Bakery:

https://www.instagram.com/lumii_paws/

Food-inspired toys provided by Chompurr:

https://www.instagram.com/chompurr/

Well that was fun!