Words…Happiness as a Role vs. True Happiness

How are you?”  Just great.  Couldn’t be better.”  True or False?happy

In many cases, happiness is a role people play, and behind the smiling façade, there is a great deal of pain.  Depression, breakdowns, and overreactions are common when unhappiness is covered up behind a smiling exterior and brilliant white teeth, when there is denial, sometimes even to one’s self, that there is much unhappiness.

“Just fine” is a role the ego plays more commonly in America than in certain other countries where being and looking miserable is almost the norm and therefore more socially acceptable.

Be aware that what you think, to a large extent, creates the emotions that you feel.  See the link between your thinking and your emotions.  Rather than being your thoughts and emotions, be the awareness behind them.

Don’t seek happiness.  If you seek it, you won’t find it, because seeking is the antithesis of happiness.  Happiness is ever elusive, but freedom from unhappiness is attainable now, by facing what is, rather than making stories about it.  Unhappiness covers up your natural state of well-being and inner peace, the source of true happiness.

Source: Eckhart Tolle’s “A New Earth” (the Life Purpose Bible).



Words: a glimpse

good2The following was taken from a chapter from the best selling “A New Earth” by Eckhart Tolle.  The book is so amazing in making you awaken to your purpose in life. I read it a few years ago but just happened to pick it up again and it fell open to exactly this page so I decided to post it.good1

At some point in their lives, most people become aware that there is not only birth, growth, success, good health, pleasure and winning, but also loss, failure, sickness, old age, decay, pain and death.  Conventionally these are labelled “good” and “bad”, order and disorder.  The “meaning” of people’s lives is usually associated with what they term the “good”, but the good is continually threatened by collapse, breakdown, disorder, threatened by meaningless and the “bad”, when explanations fail and life ceases to make sense.  Sooner or later disorder will erupt into everyone’s life no matter how many insurance policies he or she has.  However, the eruption of disorder into a person’s life, and the resultant collapse of a mentally defined meaning, can become the opening into a higher order.

This is illustrated in the story of a wise man who won an expensive car in a lottery.

His family and friends were very happy for him and came to celebrate.  “Isn’t it great!” they said.  “You are so lucky.”  The man smiled and said, “Maybe.”  For a few weeks he enjoyed driving the car.  Then one day a drunken driver crashed into his new car at an intersection and he ended up in the hospital, with multiple injuries.  His family and friends came to see him and said, “That was really unfortunate.”  Again the man smiled and said, “Maybe.”  While he was still in the hospital, one night there was a landslide and his house fell into the sea.  Again his friends came the next day and said, “Weren’t you lucky to have been here in hospital.”  Again he said, “Maybe.”

The wise man’s “maybe” signifies a refusal to judge anything that happens.  Instead of judging what is, he accepts it and so enters into conscious alignment for the mind to understand what place or purpose a seemingly random event has in the tapestry of the whole.  But there are no random events, nor are there events or things that exist by and for themselves, in isolation.  The atoms that make up your body were once forged inside stars, and the causes of even the smallest event are virtually infinite and connected with the whole in incomprehensible ways.  If you wanted to trace back the cause of any event, you would have to go back all the way to the beginning of creation.  The cosmos is not chaotic.  The very word cosmos means order.  But this is not an order the human mind can ever comprehend, although it can sometimes glimpse it.

Makes sense?  Who am I to judge!

Away with Words – the Secret of Happiness

Happy vs Unhappy 

Excerpts from “A New Earth” by Eckhart Tolle    enjoy life Unhappiness – what is a negative emotion?  An  emotion that is toxic to the body and interferes with its balance and harmonious functioning.  Fear, anxiety, anger, bearing a grudge, sadness, hatred or intense dislike, jealousy, envy – all disrupt the energy flow through the body, affect the heart, the immune system, digestion, production of hormones, and so on.  Even mainstream medicine, although it knows very little about how the ego operates yet, is beginning to recognize the connection between negative emotional states and physical disease.  An emotion that does harm to the body also infects the people you come into contact with and indirectly, through a process of chain reaction, countless others you never meet.  There is a generic term for all negative emotions: unhappiness.

The Secret of Happiness – How to be at peace now?  By making peace with the present moment.  The present moment is the field on which the game of life happens.  It cannot happen anywhere else.  Once you have made peace with the present moment, see what happens, what you can do or choose to do, or rather what life does through you.  There are three words that convey the secret of the art of living, the secret of all success and happiness:  One With Life.  Being one with life is being one with NOW.  You then realize that you don’t live your life, but life lives you.  Life is the dancer, and you are the dance.

Words of wisdom on the “EGO”- an excerpt from “A New Earth”

THE EGO’s role in playing victim:  we all know someone who at one time or another will revert to anything for attention.  The way they see it is that any attention is better than no attention even if it’s negative.  This is the “ego” talking.

Eckhart Tolle is the author of “A New Earth”.  He is a contemporary spiritual teacher who travels extensively, taking his message throughout the world.  Tolle shows how transcending our ego-based state of consciousness is not only essential to personal happiness, but also the key to ending conflict and suffering throughout the world.  Tolle describes how our attachment to the ego creates the dysfunction that leads to anger, jealousy, and unhappiness, and shows readers how to awaken to a new state of consciousness and follow the path to a truly fulfilling existence.  He lives in Vancouver.

Some egos, if they cannot get praise or admiration, will settle for other forms of attention and play roles to elicit them.  If they cannot get positive attention, they make seek negative attention instead, for example, by provoking a negative reaction in someone else.  Some children already do that.  They misbehave to get attention.  Some egos perpetrate crime in their search for fame. They seek attention through notoriety (better to be infamous) and other people’s condemnation.  “Please tell me that I exist, that I am not insignificant,” they seem to say.  Such pathological forms of ego are only more extreme versions of normal egos.

 A very common role is the one of victim, and the form of attention it seeks is sympathy or pity of others’ interest in my problems, “me and my story.”  Seeing oneself as a victim is an element in many egoic patterns, such as complaining, being offended, outraged, and so on.  Of course, once I am identified with a story in which I assigned myself the role of victim, I don’t want it to end, and so, as every therapist knows, the ego does not want an end to its “problems” because they are part of its identity.  If no one will listen to my sad story, I can tell it to myself in my head, over and over, and feel sorry for myself, and so have an identity as someone who is being treated unfairly by life or other people, fate or god.  It gives definition to my self-image, makes me into someone, and that is all that matters to the ego.

Providing there is something to apologize about.

We must always pay attention to the ego – it can be very selfish.