contemplating loss

Experiencing the loss of loved ones is never a happy time.  It just seems to be happening a lot lately. A parent, a relative, a friend, a pet and so on. We might know it’s coming but because we don’t know when exactly, we’re not as prepared or so strong as we think when the dreaded time comes. But the circle of life continues in it’s weird and varying ways of making itself known.

80th birthday visit in Montreal
80th birthday visit in Montreal
Ada & her sister (my mom) Elva (aka Cookie).
Ada on left & her sister Elva (my mom, but dad & friends always called her Cookie).

While I was having a fantastic time taking my mind off of other issues by visiting friends in B.C., my mom’s only sister passed away suddenly in Montreal.  By sheer coincidence the remaining sibling (their brother) and his wife who now live in Florida visited with her just the day before she passed.  In fact, they left the morning of without knowing.  Their timing and hers was impeccable. We wonder if because she knew they were coming, she decided to wait until just after they left to bid a final farewell.

I would like to pay a tiny tribute to my auntie Ada 

She was the most elegant 86 year old woman on the planet who looked and acted at least a few decades younger. A very modern woman who still looked good wearing jeans. She was a great mother to four (Frankie, Adan, Elizabeth & Johnny) and a really good friend to me. Until almost two years ago she was vibrant, always on the go, curious, active and I have to say this…..she had great style!

Me, Ada, brother Brad, sister Lisa and uncle Chuck.
In the courtyard with Ada, brother Brad, sister Lisa, uncle Chuck (mom & Ada’s brother) and a chair.  Where was our DOP (director of photography)?

She was not only beautiful but she had a wicked sense of humour.  The whole family got together in Montreal to surprise her for her 80th birthday which ended up with all of us on a custom-made Tiki boat on Lac Masson in the Laurentians chock load full of booze, my uncle playing captain and only one life vest (it is Quebec by the way – you can allow for this).  Ada grabbed the vest, looked around at all of us and said “I’m the only one worth saving.”  As luck goes we didn’t capsize but the engine fell off into the water and we had to call for rescue.  It was pretty exciting.  The booze did come in handy.  It was a great family celebration vacation.

Unfortunately another family member bites the dust.  It happens but it sucks big time.  Especially when you’re hoping to see that person again, have good conversations or silly ones where you laugh a lot out loud which we did.  It sucks because at 86 you can still be young if you’re lucky to be like Ada.  She taught me a lot about life.

We did some acting together when I lived in Montreal. Ada continued on and just had fun with it doing lots of commercials and bit parts in movies – many major ones.

A coiffed Ada said Christopher Reeves was a real Super Man!
Found this in my photo album. An overly coiffed Ada said Christopher Reeve was a real super man!

She loved being on set and made lots of friends and was well liked.  My cousin Liz shared a funny story about one of the movies Ada worked on.  Liz asked her mom which actors she was working with.  At the time, Liz was in love with Rob Lowe (I know, but it was then) and had posters of the actor plastered all over her bedroom wall (before her Motley Crue phase).  Ada said Jodie Foster, Nastassja Kinski and some pipsqueak.  Liz wanted to know who the pipsqueak was.  Ada replied “I think his name is Lob Rowe.”  Of course she meant Rob Lowe.  Liz freaked out and her mom had to take her on set (refer to photo of a stunned and stunning Liz with RL) to meet him.  Ada could make anything happen.

Pretty boy & Liz
Pretty boy Rob Lowe & my cousin Liz

Of course our conversation then went on to “whatever happened to Rob Lowe?”  Besides playing one of the sons in Brothers and Sisters he was picture perfect playing a plastic surgeon (lots of p’s) in the film about Liberace’s life.  But this post is really about Ada’s life.  A life well lived, a life cut short (because I think 86 is way too young) a life many people would treasure.  Those close were lucky to know her and my cousins will surely miss her along with Ada’s grandchildren Shanny, Tyaa, Ginger & Finlay.  I’ll close with this saying:

Perhaps they are not stars in the sky, but rather openings where our loved ones shine down to let us know they are happy.

adaThe sky just got a bright new star! 

Give my mom and your parents a big hug – love to all of you & miss you always. XO

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