Fine Feathered Men

Our fashion preferences and differences are what make wearing it well – well; at the very least, an intriguing topic, especially when it comes to finding out how women prefer to see their men (as in husbands or boyfriends) dress on a daily basis.

The modern man who loves designer labels and likes to “excessorize” can be called many things: a fashion-forward fellow, metrosexual man, fellow fashionista, designer dude or luxe lad. All labels point to the same fixation – making a statement with a passion for fashion.

Why this subject? Because recently, a male friend of mine was surprised – more like shocked – to find out that I’m the type of woman who prefers my guy to NOT dress himself in luxury designer clothing. He thought that because I love fashion in general, that I would expect my boyfriend to be a metrosexual shopaholic, focused on façade and making an impression with appearance and the clothing he wears.  Not the case.

 In fact, I find it a turnoff.  Along with any other straight men who sparkle.

The word Metrosexual was coined in 1994 (formed from metropolitan and heterosexual) to describe a guy who is very concerned with his grooming and generally spending a substantial amount of time and money on shopping as part of this.

Overall, I enjoy seeing men who dress well, with a little flair too, as long as it suits their personality. In general, I prefer my guy to not be overly concerned with keeping up with fashion trends and designer wear. Clean, well fitted choices that are not outdated… with a little more ooomph now and again like a fitted suit with high quality shoes for going out to certain events is what I like.

You might wonder why someone who grew up in stylish Montreal, who enjoys dressing up and writing about fashion might feel this way.  Hmmm…. interesting.  It has nothing to do with being able to afford designer garb. We know it costs more and yes; luxury clothing is well made, but perhaps women like me don’t like that fact that men put energy towards creating an impression with designer wear.  Could also be that we don’t want to be reminded of, or exposed for, or ourselves accused of the same shallow vanities and consumerism.

Or, maybe it’s because we prefer to reserve the right for women to be the more stylish and for men to appreciate us for putting it together instead of them putting too much effort into what they think will impress us, expressly with logos and styling.  Save the expense for shoes.

That’s not to say I don’t appreciate a nice Gucci loafer, cashmere sweater or designer shirt…just not all the time, and certainly not head to toe.

It’s nice for men to wear and appreciate designer clothing, but I’m talking about when they tend to build their image around it that, which may suggest a narcissistic, attention-grabbing character. In other words, they put all their effort into dressing upmarket and chic. It’s just my personal opinion.  I know some women who feel the opposite.

But what’s even more interesting is that I made the same assumption about another woman as my male friend made about me.

I listened to a podcast with Chelsea Handler talking about her recent breakup and dating in general.  A friend of hers set her up on a blind date where she met this man in a restaurant.  She said he was seated at first so she couldn’t see him from the waist down.  When he got up, the first thing she noticed was that he was wearing an Hermès belt.  She was so turned off that she said she knew right then and there that there would be no second date.

Wow…so judgy over a belt?  A bit extreme maybe, but I get it!

It’s not about the belt.  It’s about what the belt represents. It’s about the fact that a straight man went to the extreme of buying the most high-end sought after belt anyone can buy in order to make a statement.  A statement that not only says “I can afford this” but also that “I pay attention to designer labels.” And yes; the belt is indeed very well made of the utmost quality.  I love the belt….only not on the guy I’m dating.

I know…double standard here right? Or am I just conflicted?

Some women don’t want to be out-dressed by the man. Opposite to the animal kingdom, peacocks especially; where the males are seen in bright, shimmering colours; complex patterns; and elaborate plumage in order to attract the peahens.

So. should men be like peacocks?  Yes, or No?…Even though it’s safer for them than for other male animals that are prey for more than females?