Life/Style: life coach, guru, mentor, whatever – what’s it all about?

Why are there so many life coaches out there?

It’s becoming stylish to hire a life coach. Remember when life was simple (well simple enough when you were little and your parents made all the decisions on your behalf)? Why is it that now there appears to be more of a need for professional help for reasonably healthy individuals on how to live our lives? Are we capable of making our own decisions and choices without consulting a professional?

Are we that helpless, misguided and confused in our personal and professional choices? Hey, there’s nothing wrong with seeking help but where do we draw the line?

I can understand hiring a financial advisor to help sort out your financial goals, a marriage/couples counsellor or shrink for personal & trauma situations or a sports coach. I just never got the role of “lifestyle coach” so I did a bit of research. It’s kind of like having a personal trainer but for your life.

Just like the people who push athletes to greatness in sports, life and wellness coaches push their clients to find success and satisfaction from their job or lifestyle.

When considering a particular area of life, be it career, family, relationships, health, and so on, individuals fall into one of five camps:

1.I don’t know what I want;
2. I know what I want, but don’t know how to get it;
3. I know what I want and how to get it, but something keeps holding me back;
4. I know what I want, how to get it and I’m motivated and on track; and
5. I know what I want and I’ve already got it!

Life Coaching 101: Life coaching helps in an in-depth way that crosses all the contexts of your life. For example in your job and in retirement, in your personal life, your social ife, and in public areas. A life coach helps you, in just about any context, to do things like…

get unstuck, climb out of your box

create healthy habits
have more fun
unleash your creativity
improve your relationships
connect to your life purpose and your inner passions
develop your leadership potential
identify and reach your goals.

Anyone can call themselves a coach. It is true that being good life coach does not require certification or credentials from an accredited Coach Training Program.
But a Life Coach whose passion is in “being” a coach will want to be the best he/she can be. They’ll seek out a reputable coach training program. They’ll be a life-long-learner, a seeker who wants to give himself/herself knowledge and skills and tools beyond his/her natural (and excellent) intuition and listening skills.

What is the role as a client?

As the client you will bring to coaching the Agenda. Where you are at present in your life and where you want to be in the future. You will use the tools, concepts and principles that the coach will provide during each session to take the courageous actions which will help you create the life you want. You will be fully responsible for your transformation in accordance with your values, your preferences and your personal circumstances.

What is the role of coach?

The role of a coach is to help you maintain the focus on the way to your transformation and to notice the currents below the surface of what seems like calm shimmering water. With powerful questioning, intuition, inquiry, challenges and respect for who you are and where you are, a good coach will stretch you and challenge you, but above all will light the way when you are lost and can’t see the ‘bigger picture’ as doubt and fear is all you can see.

I can see a niche for this but what kind of people are qualified? If someone is going to set your life on track they better have a lot of attributes. The ideal coach would have to be emotionally balanced, very patient, financially secure or at least financially stable, have a spiritual nature, be lots of fun, has or has had a successful job or career, a people-person, healthy, creative, goal oriented, compassionate, a good listener, a bit of a fortune teller and a drill sargeant, a detective in helping you decide what you want and a true leader. In other words – if not perfect, then almost perfect.

I haven’t met anyone quite like this and until I do I’ll continue to make my own decisions which usually leads to making some mistakes but at least I have no one else to blame but myself. I am however considereng becoming a life coach should anyone care to hire me ~~kidding of course~~.

Have you ever looked into becoming a life coach or considered hiring one?

FUN

health MATTERS – giving ourselves permission to be SAD

From feel-good Friday to feel-sad Saturday: feeling sad is not a choice and it happens….but being sad for toooo long can become a health issue.

Excuse me, but how long is too long? This is a timely post because in a fairly short time span there have been a steady stream of things to feel sad about. You would think that it would center around health issues concerning my parents at this stage but no, we lost them way too early, within six months of each other. Now it concerns the illness of other loved ones, not knowing the outcome, the untimely death of some friends and now the loss of Kira, my brother’s beloved half yorkie, half schnauzer that he fawned over. He did everything he could being the health guru that he is, gave her the best life possible. Every dog and even many humans should be so lucky to be cared for like that. She will be greatly missed.

Normally we are pretty well adjusted, capable, happy, positive & upbeat people in everyday life. But when everything hits you all at once and people you are close to are experiencing losses and breakups it’s harder to put on a happy face.

We know it’s normal to have bad days and we have many good and bad days throughout our lives but man oh man, how many bad days are considered the norm?

My brother phoned me yesterday in tears to say he didn’t know how to say goodbye to Kira, that it was so difficult but he didn’t want to be selfish and keep her around just for him. He saw that she was uncomfortable and he hadn’t slept in several days. But then he said sorry to me for crying. Imagine apologizing for feeling sad about losing a family member? It was nothing to be sorry about, sometimes you just have to let go.

But it is funny (or strange rather) that we put pressure on ourselves not to show our true feelings. We don’t want to appear weak and helpless. It’s “the mask” we put on in public to save face and honestly I think we have to watch who we choose to open up to. The thing is feeling comfortable enough to know who to share those feelings with. Sometimes people you were really close to suddenly don’t have the time of day for you. It makes you wary. It’s disappointing and hurts but moving right along…

We put a lot of pressure on ourselves to be ‘the best we can be’, to be perfect, to always do the right thing. Humans inherently are seeking happiness. But damn it, sometimes life just sucks and we do have bad times.

My friend sent me a link to a meditation instructor’s blog by the name of Wendy Quan. She posted the following on “permission to be sad”:

Here I am, someone who has faced cancer, a muddled through a myriad of other things and am now dealing with aging parents and managing through my remaining cancer treatment. People call me inspirational, probably because I do try to make the best in life no matter what, and I teach meditation and mindfulness to others. But do you know what? I’m not perfectly happy. I’m not perfect.

I have good days and bad days. And when I have the bad days sometimes I feel down about feeling that way. I have found a great way to weather the bad days that I’d love to share with you. Give yourself permission to be sad and have the bad days. It’s OK. We are human. Bad days will happen. We don’t have to be perfect. It’s OK to be angry, to cry, to feel sorry for yourself on occasion. I often give this advice to people going through divorce – sadness, guilt and regret can come and go. Just remember to apologize to others if you have lashed out at them.

A few weeks ago, I was alone and suddenly felt really sad. I thought to myself “I have no idea why I’m feeling this way, but I do. Why do I have to deal with all of this?” I happened to be unloading my dishwasher at the time and burst out into tears. Then I gave myself permission to be sad – it must have been a comical scene – me bawling my eyes out but still unloading the dishwasher until the task was done! After that crying session, I felt so much better. It didn’t matter why I cried, but what did matter is the perspective I took. I knew the down period would pass, and I gave myself permission to experience it.

Now, if the sadness had lasted consistently for several weeks, of course this could be a different story, but it didn’t last. When you think about it, how can you even know what happiness is unless you’ve gone through sad times?

So be self-aware, gain perspective, and give yourself permission to have these human emotions. After all, we are human and meant to experience the ups and downs of life.

Thank you Wendy.

Source: thecalmmonkey.com

FUN

Feel-good Friday: and all that JAZZ

– EAT. DRINK. DANCE –

It was really Sunday, but it may well have been Friday because where good music is concerned, any day of the week feels right. WE NEED TO DANCE MORE!

I had a blast at Central Bistro (a friendly neighbourhood bar/restaurant in Vancouver) meeting up with three friends after a barbeque for a glass of wine, great music with the talented Kentish Steele on vocals and my friend, the super gifted Doug Louie, on keyboard.

They played oldies by Smoky Robinson, Marvin Gaye, Stevie Wonder, Temptations, etc. and we couldn’t keep to our seats finding space wherever we could to get up and dance. People were coming in off the street after hearing the music from outside.

On the menu: Ratatouille stuffed organic chicken breast.

So tonight I’ll be out dancing elsewhere because it makes me feel good -and feeling good is what life is all about.

What kind of music makes you jump out of your seat to dance?

Central Bistro (they have a pretty good menu) 1072 Denman Street, Vancouver. Live Jazz on Sundays starting at 7:00 pm

beauty

Beauty benefits of Avocado oil

Could Avocado oil dethrone coconut oil?

Coconut oil has had way more than the allotted 15 minutes of fame and now we’re hearing about the skin care benefits of yet another fruit (yes, it’s a fruit) – that of Avocado. In the oil game I think there’s still room for everyone and even better if they can learn to work together.

Of course now every major cosmetics company makes one. Combine this newfound fascination with oil and consumers’ desire for all things “natural,” and you can understand why people are now shopping the grocery store for beauty products.

It’s kind of crazy to me because I’ve been mixing oils for years, way before it became fashionable for the face or body. Oh, and let’s not forget hair. Apparently Lupita Nyong’o uses it on her hair and skin – enough said.

Celebrity esthetician Renee Rouleau explains “It has a high amount of vitamin E in it, which is an antioxidant. And it does hydrate deeper and better than coconut oil.” Avocado oil also contains fatty acids, phytosterols, and a substance called sterolin. There’ some evidences that phytosterols can help repair skin, although, as with most things on the internet, the claims far outweigh the proof. But still, avocado oil seems to be at least as legitimate, if not more so, as coconut oil for hydration and moisturization.

FYI: Avocado oil is one of the few oils not derived from seeds, but is extracted from the pulp of the avocado fruit.

Avocado Oil Skin Benefits

In addition to providing the skin with moisture, the antioxidants found in avocado oil — particularly vitamins A and E — can help soothe sunburned skin. Avocado oil also contains sterolins, which are natural steroids. They may be effective in boosting collagen production and in treating age spots. With its high level of vitamin E, avocado oil may reduce itching and inflammation of the skin and is also beneficial in softening rough and cracked skin.

Aside from adding it as an ingredient for two of my skin care products (facial oil & makeup remover) I love to add avocado to salads, spread it on toast and of course to eat in guacamole. Now my favourite salad dressing oil is very simple – it’s a bottle I bought at a California Farmers Market, hand-crafted on a family grove in San Diego (non GMO) extra virgin, cold pressed Avocado Oil with lime. It’s so superb on fish too that I’ll have to make a special trip back just to buy more bottles ~~even though I can order it online.~~

I love this body lotion that has added Jasmine - a favourite essential oil. — I love this **Avocado body lotion** with Jasmine.

SHOP (for Skin so Divine skin care, etc.) page: https://girlwhowouldbeking.com/shop/

Source: Elle

STYLE

Style: Alexander the Great!

“WHEN I AM DEAD AND GONE, “PEOPLE WILL KNOW THE 21ST CENTURY WAS STARTED BY ME.”

Truthfully and spookily spoken by designer Alexander McQueen. Ever since taking his own very untimely life in 2010 at the age of 40, no one can deny that McQueen has given more life to the fashion industry than we’ve known in years. A true fashion artist!This statement is now written on a gallery wall at the Victoria & Albert Museum, in London, where the recently opened exhibition “Savage Beauty” showcases the design genius’s unsurpassed creations. (The show runs through August 2, 2015) If you’re in London and are a fashion fiend you must run to see it. A fashion designer friend raved about it.

For some people, Fashion is a Game! — For some people, **Fashion is a Game!**

The original “Savage Beauty” was held in New York, at the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s Costume Institute, in 2011. It debuted there to glowing reviews – visitors thought it was brilliant. More than 660,000 people attended the show, making it the Met’s eighth most popular exhibition ever.It is not surprising, then, that upon hearing about the V&A’s plans to re-stage “Savage Beauty,” many fashion insiders found it hard to imagine how a second outing — or the enthusiasm greeting it — could match what the Met achieved. But, as it turns out, Claire Wilcox, the London museum’s senior curator of fashion, has showcased McQueen’s prodigious talent in such a dramatic manner that even second-time viewers will be awed and moved. Without a doubt, “Savage Beauty” is the best fashion exhibition the V&A has put on in recent memory.

Creations by the late British designer Alexander McQueen are displayed during a preview at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York, May 2, 2011. An exhibition of McQueen's creations titled Savage Beauty will be on display at the museum from May 4-July 31, 2011. REUTERS/Finbarr O'Reilly (UNITED STATES - Tags: FASHION SOCIETY) - RTR2LWR6 — Creations by the late British designer Alexander McQueen are displayed during a preview at the **Metropolitan Museum of Art** in New York, May 2, 2011. REUTERS/Finbarr O’Reilly

Wilcox has put more focus on McQueen’s London roots. Most of his degree show from Central Saint Martins is displayed along with original runway samples. (Missing in New York, many of these outfits were purchased by Isabella Blow, the fashion editor and McQueen mentor/muse who also committed suicide, in 2007.) Overall, this show displays many more designs than were seen at the Met, which is surprising since the U.K. usually proclaims small is beautiful and the U.S. big is best.The section labeled “Cabinet of Curiosities” is now twice as large, a vast black cavern where flickering videos of runway shows are interspersed with fantastical accessories against an auditory backdrop of hallucinatory music. One could spend hours in this room alone — especially if under the influence of a hallucinatory substance (and apparently that might be the case according to some of the fellow show-goers looking around the space).

As writer Clair Watson said after having departed from the Met’s “Savage Beauty” emotionally wrung-out: “I staggered out of this version completely overwhelmed — how much brilliance can a person take?” Which begs the question: How much more agonized brilliance could McQueen have lived with? Five years after his death, there is enough distance to acknowledge that, just as he said, he indeed make an indelible artistic mark that we can now see, more clearly.

Source: Clair Watson – “The Unbearable Beauty of McQueen” Photos: google images unless otherwise stated

Food + Drink

Food board: feeling Blue

Full-bodied, Rich, Rustic, Strong, Sweet, Nutty, Complex, Spicy, Dense, Creamy….Hmmmmm. Just some of the words that best describe “the Blues.”

If Roquefort is the assertive “King of the Blues“, then even-tempered Blue d’Auvergne is the Prince. A rustic treasure hailing from Central France, this rich cow’s milk is strong and meaty, the perfect companion to a nice *Sauterne.

Of all the cheese selections out there, blue cheese is still a favourite. Be it your everyday Danish blue, Cambazola, Roquefort, Gorgonzola or Stilton, it will always make its way onto my cheese board.

Named after rivers, barbeques and appliances. Maytag Blue is from the washing machine family. Known to make the best blue cheese dressing of all time! — Blues named after rivers, barbeques and appliances. **Maytag Blue** is from the famous washing machine family – known to make the best blue cheese dressing of all time! Now you know.

Any blue cheese is tasty to me, especially hand-crafted kinds, but lately I’ve been seeing more and more varieties pop up at the deli section of many grocery stores & specialty cheese shops. Some I’m not so familiar with. They all taste slightly different and are from various locations. Thought I’d research some of them for those who are interested on the link below.

Blue Cheese for newbies:

http://cheeseonthegreen.com/cheeses/blue

*Sauternes, 40 miles (65km) south of Bordeaux city, is a village famous for its high-quality sweet wines – perfect pairings to go with a good strong blue.

Do you have a favourite?

Photos: d king

Art & Culture

The Art of Food: “Dinner with Jackson Pollock”

Aside from leaving a legacy of astonishing abstract art, Jackson Pollock has a cookbook. And why should that come across as strange. He was no starving artist and even so, everyone has to eat and cook something for themselves sometimes right? But I must admit my first thought was…really?? It’s interesting how we see people as one dimensional when we only know one thing about them. But this man not only painted, he enjoyed gardening, entertaining and making food – everything from starters and entrees to side dishes, breads, and desserts.

Seems the lines are becoming more and more blurred between fashion and art, makeup and art and now food and art?

What do you know about Jackson Pollock, the famous American artist? That he was considered rather wild, and struggled with alcoholism? All of this is true, but it’s not the full picture of the artist and his life. He was also an avid cook, and a lover of good food, which shades in some fresh nuances to his life and work, explains Robyn Lea, the author of a new book about Pollock and his cooking, Dinner with Jackson Pollock.

Like his canvases, I would imagine my dinner plate to be splattered with a colorful and chaotic assortment of food.

Convergence, 1952 by Jackson Pollock

Robyn Lea is an Australian photographer and writer who became fascinated by Pollock and his relationship with food. She was doing a story for an Australian magazine and photographed the pantry at Pollock House in East Hampton, NY. “I started to wonder about their food,” she told me. “They had beautiful objects in there that said these people were really interested in food, like Eva Zeisel china, and an expensive, complete collection of Le Creuset pieces.”

She wondered what the artist’s dinner parties were like, and then she discovered his own hand-written recipe books — with dozens of recipes clearly made and loved by the artist. “I started a series of Jackson Pollock dinner parties,” Lea told me. The discovery process took over from there, and through it she not only cooked quite a lot of good food from Pollock’s cookbooks, but discovered a less-well-known side of the man as well.

“I thought he was the genius wild man throwing paint in the air and drinking too much,” Lea said, confirming a caricature of Pollock that is perhaps the most widely known. “And then the great surprise was that he was the baker, which is an art and science that requires precision. That was a great shock to me — he’s a baker but his artwork is not like that.”

But, in a twist, Pollock’s precision with food casts fresh light on the current scholarship of his work: “But then, he denied the accidental in his work,” Lea told me. “He said he knew exactly where the splats of paint would land. Scientific studies now actually show an incredible amount of design and structure to that work.” It’s very contrary, she said, to how the average person sees the work of Jackson Pollock. “If you look at his cooking from this perspective there’s a great connection to how he painted.”

Perhaps the most poignant food connection in Pollock’s story, however, is the diet Lea discovered in her research that was intended to cure his alcoholism. “There were very valid attempts to assist him in these cures,” she told me. “Very poignant and showed this side of him that was not so egocentric but tried very hard to overcome alcoholism, with therapy and diet, from the 1930s on. There’s a sadness there to find these things out.”

The book itself is a beautiful, lively melding of Pollock’s work and his recipes, drawn together with Lea’s photography, writing, and interviews with his family. She tells many stories, like that of the Cross-Country Johnny Cakes, which Pollock and his brother lived off of on their cross-country road trip to visit their mother in California. There are stories of happy times and many images of Pollock’s work, and photographs of him in the studio. It’s a rare cookbook — one that doesn’t simply offer the novelty of a famous artist’s recipes and cooking, but offers fascinating insight on his life as a human being as well.

And that is exactly why it would have been so amazing to actually have had dinner with this rare man.

Spaghetti Sauce — One of the photos in the book – a spaghetti sauce with mushrooms and pork.

Source for cookbook info: thekitchn.com

To purchase: http://www.assouline.com/dinner-with-jackson-pollock.html – $50