Self Care: Standstill 

For the first time since starting this website my heart has just not been into it.

Since a few weeks ago an overwhelming heaviness had taken over and every time I started to come up with a subject to post I ended up overthinking it and deleting it. Everything appeared trivial after the recent passing of my close friend and it brought up other losses and reinforced the reality of impermanence here on earth and making the most of the relationships we now have.  Accordingly, a recipe or fashion article seemed too light hearted at this time.

Several heart breaking changes in less than one year is almost unbearable.  I say almost because we still manage to carry on and get through the day even so. We are resilient creatures after all, it’s true.  But grief, stress and lack of sleep do not a winning combination make.  There were times where if I didn’t have dogs I would have probably just stayed in bed all day long. They don’t call them therapy dogs for nothing.

Things change all the time.  Of course not all change is bad. Change is inevitable, but when it comes to you at rapid fire speed it can be difficult to embrace. We tend to draw upon all the resources in our power to deal with them.  So that’s what I’ve been doing – dealing with them.  All the stuff that life throws at you seemed to happen all at once but through it all I’ve learned a lot.

Last Monday I deleted a fairly lengthy post about the power of knowledge after being inspired by an article I read.  Because knowledge is power. And the more we read the more we know. The more we know the more we grow. Blah, blah….academic like. I tossed it. Learning however never goes out of fashion.

I’ve learned so much over the past nine months specifically where it comes to personal and business relationships that I can probably write a book. Much of it eye opening and unexpected; an education in itself.

On the business front without going into personal detail I now know what it’s like to deal with  someone who will go to any length to take advantage. Someone who has no moral values.  An unfortunate situation which blindsided me into getting lawyers involved and taking at least six months more than necessary to complete.  My husband would be severely disappointed by what occurred in his absence but I’m pretty sure he’d have been proud of how I dealt with it and the final outcome.

I’ve lost a few friends and gained some new ones along the way. Learning to let go and move on from stagnant or unhealthy relationships only makes you stronger. It’s like cleaning house and tossing out what’s not right or doesn’t work in your life anymore.

I’m not sure about the saying whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger but I will attest that it makes you wiser.

Instead of drowning in despair or wallowing in sorrow I am the person who picks herself up out of the ashes and is on fire. Just like that song. I’ve dealt with and am continuing to deal with whatever life throws at me with aplomb (a word I seldom if ever use but seems fitting right now).  Problems will get solved.  Maybe not as soon as I would like, but the important thing is that they will get taken care of.  Everything in perspective. The important thing is I’m still here.  And there are too many other good things to enjoy in life.  So that means my stagnant period is coming to an end.  Temporary problems and sadness will still occur but getting through them and being there for others who experience the same keeps my head above water and swimming along.  Maybe with a few somersaults.  Or more likely Summer bath Salts.