Health: how does one achieve LASTING Happiness?

By practicing Vedantahappiness2Vedanta is an ancient philosophy that is based on the end of the four Vedas. (It literally means “the end of knowledge.”) The scholar comes from the Vedanta Academy, a school just outside of Mumbai established by Swami A. Parthasarathy, a nearly 90-year-old guru who has been traveling the world explaining how to eradicate unhappiness for more than 60 years.

At its heart, Vedanta revolves around developing the intellect: That we are all unhappy because we drive our lives forward using only our minds, which are the seat of emotion, likes, and dislikeswe need our intellect, the seat of reason and rationality—to keep the rambling and anxiety in check.

It is simple and profound, and incredibly relevant to life today—in fact, Parthasarathy (respectfully known as Swamiji) spends most of his time working with business leaders and CEOs, who are struggling to scale companies and embrace the tenets of real leadership.

Parthasarathy is incredibly prolific and has written 10 books, dealing with everything from love versus attachment, to business and relationships, as well as mentoring his ever-expanding pool of scholars. It’s going to expand even faster, as they’ve just introduced an e-learning portal where anyone, anywhere can access 368 lectures, to be consumed over the course of three years. If you want to get a baseline understanding, he recommends that you start with four books, in this order: The Fall of the Human IntellectThe Holocaust of Attachment, Governing Business & Relationships, and The Vedanta Treatise: The Eternities.happiness1

PART ONE (it’s quite lengthy so I had to cut it into two parts) – excerpted from a talk by Swami A. Parthasarathy.  

Below, an abridged version of a lecture Swamiji recently gave in Southern California that gives an overview of what Vedanta is all about.

Tonight, we are going to discuss Vedanta, a word that you won’t find in the English dictionary. Vedanta is ancient wisdom, laid down thousands of years ago. It’s made up of two words—veda and anta—which mean, respectively, knowledge and end. So the word Vedanta simply means the end of knowledge, the culmination of knowledge. It is ancient, but it is relevant in modern life—in our day-to-day living.

Now when you purchase a machine—any gadget, really—you’re given a manual for how to operate it, whether it’s a shaver or a coffee pot. If you don’t have the manual, you are in trouble. Now, you have the subtlest of machines within you—and nobody has a clue what it is. And what’s more, this machine is operating you throughout your life. There is no reference to it in school or universities. Nowhere are you taught what it is, or how it operates in your life. Even the most intelligent people have no clue.

And therefore we get into all sorts of problems. And problems, problems, and more problems. For the last 60 years, I’ve been listening to only problems.

It’s interesting because a human being is a masterpiece of creation—but a human being has all the problems. Look at the animal world: No problems at all. And that is because all creatures are protected by nature. But humans…humans do what they like—exactly what they like. Have you found one zebra in the animal planet that is overweight or underweight? One impala? They all have the same weight. Because nature takes care of them.

But no two people are the same—some are underweight and some are overweight—because nature does not take care of humans. Why has this happened? Well, as I said, a human is a masterpiece, so nature has left it to us to handle our own lives. It’s exactly like when your son or daughter reaches the age of 18 and you hand over the finances and tell them to operate on their own. They are grown-up, they can handle their affairs. Similarly, nature leaves us to ourselves because we have been provided with an intellect.

We get to do what we want. But we sure have messed it up. Because here is the rub: There is nothing in the world that can disturb you except yourself. You are the architect of your fortune and the architect of your misfortune. You can entertain yourself, and you can also disturb yourself.

Vedanta deals with the subject of YOU, and your life.

How do you define your life?

Your life is a series of experiences. That’s your life. That’s my life. A stream of experiences, just as water flowing is a river. Your experiences flowing, one after another: That is life.

So what is an experience? It consists of two factors. You and the world. You alone cannot have an experience—for example, in deep sleep you don’t have an experience. The world is what you experience. So there is a subject/object relationship that brings about an experience. The subject is you. The object is the world.

When you contact the world, there is an experience. So ancient scientists went about beautifying the world and making it a better place for us all to live. I’ve seen the world evolve in the past 70 or 80 years—there’s been a phenomenal change, it’s really incredible. But as the world has been improved, human beings are not as happy or comfortable as they once were. It’s a paradox. Our ancestors were much happier. It’s a contradiction.

The world has been improved, but the individual has been neglected. We live in a beautiful world but are unable to make use of it properly. It’s like having excellent food, but no appetite.

What compels us to act?

We must continue contacting the world—action is the insignia of life, while inaction is death. You have to act. So the question is really, how do you act? The body performs the action. When I’m talking to you, it’s an action. When you are listening to me, you’re performing an action. But all that said, my body cannot come here and talk to you by itself. There is something other than the body that propels it and compels it to act. What is it? You are not taught this in school or university; you were not taught this by your parents when you were a child. No government takes up the subject. We are all left high and dry in the world without knowing that which enables us to act in the world. It’s like being blindfolded. So learn this today: You have two equipments, and one is the mind, and one is the intellect.

The mind consists of emotions. It is the seat of feeling, of likes and dislikes. You’ve been collecting likes and dislikes since childhood. The intellect, on the other hand, is for reasoning. You’ve just never bothered to deal with it.

There are three living species. Plant, Animal, and Human.

A plant has only a body; it has no mind and no intellect.

An animal has a body and a mind, but no intellect.

Only a human being has all three.

But human beings don’t know how to use their intellect. And you need your intellect for success and for peace, which we all want.

What is this intellect?

First, you must understand the difference between intellect and what you all know—what you all know is intelligence. Intelligence is knowledge.

Intelligence is just information you gain from your predecessors. You gain intelligence from external agencies like teachers and textbooks, from schools and universities. That knowledge and information provide you with intelligence. No amount of intelligence can make up the intellect. It is impossible. They are on two different wavelengths.

So you have intelligence and you’re making a living off of it. And you’re complacent. You have a good business. You have this, you have that. Let’s talk about that.

You have a pen. And you leave it behind today. Are you going to drive back and get it? Probably not, it’s just a pen.

Let’s say you leave your wristwatch here. You’re going to call the hotel and give a description and ask them to keep it safe so you can come and pick it up.

Let’s say you have your wristwatch and you go out to the parking lot and your car is missing. What is the loss of a car to you?

Let’s say the car is there, and you drive home and your new beautiful, fully paid-off home has burned to the ground. What is the loss of a house to you?

Let’s say you drive home and your friend calls you to tell you that your wife and two children have met with a fatal accident. What is the loss of family to you?

Draw the line from the loss of a pen to the loss of your family and then find out where you stand. No amount of intelligence is going to help you tackle that problem. If you are buckling after the loss of a wristwatch, or the loss of a car, and it is causing you sleepless nights, that’s a pretty bad state. No amount of intelligence is going to help you handle your affairs. You need an intellect to help you handle the faculties of the mind, for it is the mind that troubles you and destroys your peace. It is nothing else. You must know how to deal with your mind.

The only real value of intelligence is to help you make a living. You might go to medical school to gain the knowledge of medicine so that you can make a living. Same with engineering school, or law school. But all animals make a living without going to university.

Millions of doctors have passed through medical school, but one guy found out how to transplant a kidney, one guy found the cure for tuberculosis. How about that? Those men had intellect, besides intelligence.

So how do you develop the intellect?

You need to start developing your intellect at the age of 7, of 8, of 9. And these are the two most important points.

  1. Never take anything for granted.
    2. Question everything.

I can prove to you that you have taken everything for granted and that you don’t question. It’s called herd instinct. You follow the herd. You follow your predecessors. You go to primary and secondary school. I ask, “Why do you go to school?” You reply, “Everyone goes to school.” You brother, your sister, your mother, your father. I ask, “Why did you get a job?” You reply: “Because after school that is what everyone does.” And then you get married and have children.

Herd instinct. I’m not saying that going to school is wrong. Or that getting married and having children is wrong. But have you thought about why you have done these things?

Here are some words from Galileo:

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.

What are you working for?

So once you provide yourself with intellect, what do you do? First of all have you have to fix an ideal in life: What are you doing? What do you want? Everybody in the world is running around with no time, just running and running. But what are you all working for?

Most of you are probably working for your husband or wife and children. You are working for your family—everything else is a blur. Your home is the boundary of your affection. But it should really just be the center of affection.

With the intellect, you have to fix an ideal. And an ideal requires working beyond yourself. You can work for your family, you can work for the community, you can work for the country, you can work for humanity…you can even work for all living creatures.

The higher the ideal, the greater the initiative to work. The problem is that people don’t have ideals or a higher focus and there is no initiative for them to come to work. They work instead through incentives. You jump from company to company because they provide better perks. The boss, herself, has no initiative to work.

So you really work for perks and weekends and vacations. Thank God It’s Friday. TGIF. It’s even come to India, can you believe that?

You don’t want to work, the CEO doesn’t want to work, the manager doesn’t want to work…nobody wants to work! If you don’t find rest in action, you will never find it. You are trying to find rest by getting away from action.

But before we get to that, you are all looking for success and peace. You need the intellect for both.

What defines success?

So what is success? Success is an effect. Success belongs to the future. And what’s the cause? The cause for success is the right action. If the action is perfect, there’s success. If the action is imperfect, there’s failure.

The correct or perfect action boils down to the three C’s:

  1. Concentration
    2. Consistency
    3. Cooperation

So what is concentration? I ask this question all over the world. I always get this answer: Focus! So what is focus? It’s concentration! So nobody really knows what concentration is. They go about in circles.

Think about it. It is directing the mind in one direction, toward one point. The human mind has the tendency to slip into the worries of the past or the anxieties of the future. Everybody’s mind, including mine. Concentration is keeping the mind on the present job and not allowing it to slip. This can only be achieved through the intellect—you must have a powerful intellect to keep the mind in its place.

Similarly, you have to be consistent. If Tiger Woods plays golf for one month, baseball for a second month, and football for a third month, you can probably beat him! You have to be consistent with what you are doing—all your actions must flow in one direction. Only the intellect can keep you on the direction you’ve set.

And the third is the spirit of cooperation. If you don’t have intellect, you have a superiority or an inferiority complex. We are all spokes in the wheel of life and nobody is important, and nobody is unimportant. Who is more important? The person who removes trash from your house, or the person who sits in the White House? For a week or more you can probably do without the person who sits in the White House, but not the person who removes trash from your house. To understand that we are all spokes in the wheel of life is to understand the spirit of cooperation.

If you practice all three C’s, you’ve prepared the cause of the effect of success. Here is an example.

There was a forgery case in India in the ’30s. The lawyer defending it spoke for six hours. The other lawyer? He dozed in the courtroom. The defense lawyer was speaking eloquently and documenting things and the judge kept waiting for the other lawyer to interrupt and contradict him. So the judge asks him if he has anything to complain about and he hasn’t even been listening. He says, “No objection.” The defense lawyer sits down, and the judge turns to the other lawyer and asks him if he has anything now to say.

And he says: “My lord, look at the document against the light.” So he puts it against the light. “Do you see the watermark? This paper was manufactured in 1932. And the document is dated 1930. Is this man Einstein? How did he manage to do that?” He handed over the two samples and walked out of the courtroom. That is the power of the intellect.

You need the intellect to program concentration, consistency, and cooperation. And you also need it for your peace of mind. Every one of you can give a seminar on what disturbs your peace of mind. And it will all be external factors.

Check back tomorrow for Part Two.  Find out what disturbs your peace of mind and some RULES to live by to achieve inner peace.

This is a longer post than usual, but since I find it to be interesting and introspective I wanted to share it with like minded readers. 

Source: Goop.com

Lifestyle – the 12 people you NEED in your LIFE

I AM NOT A WEAK PERSON although I can be kind of needy at times.  But at least I’m not alone and Barbra was right…People who need people are the neediest luckiest people in the world. people2

When it comes right down to relationships I heard this quote from a strong woman I met many years ago in New York – designer Diane von Furstenberg:

 the most important relationship you’ll ever have is the one you have with yourself – DVF

However true that may be we do need others to offer support and enhance our lives.  Those who love us, encourage us, guide us, instruct us and assist us. And let’s admit that that is not always so easy to obtain.  So here’s the ROUNDUP of the my twelve most needed people in your life which was inspired by an article written for It’s a lovely life….beginning with:people1

  1. Significant Other or SO (I prefer this term over Spouse, Partner, Boyfriend/Girlfriend, etc.). I’m no role model but I think the journey is a lot more pleasant with someone close by your side.  You don’t have to be married to your SO but it should be as healthy and solid a relationship as possible.  It’s not always easy but when it works out it’s the best thing.  And it helps to have common interests and a comfort zone.  For instance, I don’t smoke and am allergic to smoke so I prefer not to be around someone who does.  Also I’m well aware that many of us don’t have a so-called significant other.  In that case then, a good trusted friend is the next best thing.  Or a dog. Sometimes even better as they offer unconditional love.  At least they don’t talk back and the only smoking dog I knew of in my city no longer exists (it was a French restaurant in Vancouver).  Okay, dog makes the list of people we need! One of my SO’s is very furry!
  1. Family Doctor – You need a good doctor that knows you and your medical history. A family doctor will be able to help you because he knows you personally and knows your medical history.
  2. Dentist – for obvious reasons. Teeth upkeep is of the utmost importance because if we don’t look after them properly our teeth can interfere with our overall health, not to mention the exorbitant cost if something goes wrong.  I make sure to go twice a year for cleaning and general maintenance (sometimes a home whitening touch up too).
  3. Lawyer – No one really wants an attorney/lawyer in their life. The circumstances for hiring a lawyer are rarely pleasant, but not knowing who to call to help you with legal issues is even less pleasant. A good lawyer contact is definitely someone you need in your life.
  4. Counselor/Therapist  for a shoulder to cry on. There are times when you need help. Whether for your marriage, children, life decisions, or just working through your own issues, have a good counselor you can go to who will listen and also give good guidance. They don’t always have to be paid professionals, but a professional counselor would be good too. I’m lucky that one of my best friends just happens to be a professional counsellor however at times we help counsel each other.
  5. Best Friend – You need a good, close friend who knows you in your life. Someone who will laugh and cry with you. Someone who has your back and you have theirs. Best friends don’t have to talk every day, but they know when to step in and be there for you and with you.
  6. Hairstylist (can also double as counsellor or bartender) – An easy way to ruin your day is with a bad haircut. A good hairstylist can put you at ease and help you feel and look great! Finding a new hairdresser is hard.  Just like men/women and dating sites, there are tons of hair salons & stylists out there, but few great ones. Hang on to those good ones! 
  7. Role Model/Mentor (could be your hairdresser?) – Role Models don’t have to be TV stars or superheroes and aren’t just for kids. They can be an older couple with a great marriage who have done a good job raising their kids or someone with drive and success you admire. Give yourself a good role model to follow. Remember: You don’t have to BE them. Just LEARN from them.
  8. Accountability Partner – (could be a best friend or SO) – No one likes to be bugged and held accountable for things in our lives. But sometimes we need someone who will take on the job of encouraging us and pushing us to keep to the goals and decisions we made. They can’t be afraid to confront us when we stop or push us to go a little further then we think we can. Accountability partners can help keep us on track with a new diet, quitting smoking, drinking, saving money, and so much more.
  9. Mechanic – If you have a car, then you need a mechanic. There are so many mechanics out there that either don’t know what they are doing or will charge you for things you do not need. Make friends with a good mechanic! Know that you have someone qualified and reliable to help you keep your vehicle in good working condition.
  10. Handyman (or men) – (aka professional renovator). In my post the other day I mentioned my handyman (Bill) who could repair anything.  To be correct, he’s not mine personally, I selflessly share him with another friend.  But my friend read my post and corrected me: He’s not just a handyman, he’s a professional renovator.  Also, if anyone out there wants him, he’s not available. You may be able to tinker around and beg your dad or boyfriend to help fix a minor plumbing problem or broken outlet. Know a good handyman who can do the big repairs. If your furnace breaks in the middle of winter you will be very glad to have a handyman in your life!
  11. Neighbours (love thy neighbour; maybe not literally) – I’m talking good neighbours and at least one trusted one. One that has an extra key to your place in case of an emergency and who will look out for your place or water your plants and take your mail when you go away. Once I had a neighbour call to alert me that I had left my key in the door.  But again I lucked out because my next door neighbour has become like a member of the family. Many neighbours past and present have become lifelong friends.

Who else would you add to your list of people you must have in your life?

#13 - Dance Partner
#13 – Dance Partner?

 

Health MATTERS – the benefits of being Happy

far outweigh the non-benefits of being unhappy.  But who is happy all the time?  Being happy all the time is just as not normal as being sad all the time!happy7Life throws you some curveballs and it seems almost everyone I know right now is carrying a heavy personal load in some way be it with their family, love relationship, health, finances or job.  I know a family whose house burnt down on Thanksgiving day no less.  They’re just thankful that they made it out alive & now they’re lucky to have found their cat that ran out when the firemen arrived.  Their personal belongings gone.  The situation is not a happy one but they themselves are generally happy people and other than being shaken up by this devastation they’re dealing with it in an emotionally stable manner even with having to soon face starting all over again from scratch.  It will not be as easy as looking for a new job. Which leaves me with the conclusion that aside from family, if you strip yourself of all your worldly belongings and material goods you are left with only yourself in your own skin and your bare emotions That is really all you have that is your own. My thoughts are if you are an emotionally balanced person you will be able to face any negativity that comes your way in a more graceful and stable manner to be able to get through it faster than someone who is not.  happy3I believe your emotional health is at the crux of your quality of life. Without happiness, hopefulness and well-being, it’s difficult to reach your full potential and embrace each day as it comes. Even though some days leave you listless and it can be really hard to get through them. But you’ve got to suck it up and get on with it or get over it! If anything, I’ve always been hopeless hopeful.  Hope gives you; well….it gives you possibilities.  You can see yourself succeeding instead of failing.  Maybe you’ll end up failing but the thing is you expected not to.  You’ll pick yourself up, brush yourself off and start again because you have faith in yourself and your abilities.  Mainly you have faith in yourself that you can and will overcome temporary setbacks. This is what John Lennon had to say about it:happy8The following is what Dr. Mercola has to offer on the subject:

Your emotional health is also intricately tied to your physical health, such that an emotionally imbalanced person will be at a greater risk of chronic diseases and acute illnesses like colds and flu.

It’s thought that genetics account for about 50 percent of your “innate” happiness while life circumstances make up another 10. The rest is under your control, and the first step to harnessing it is to choose it and believe you can be happy.

Research shows, for instance, that when people were told to attempt to feel happier when listening to music, they were (as opposed to those who were told to simply relax).

It was the intention to become happier that made a difference.

It might help to consider your emotions as a form of energy. According to Dr. Bradley Nelson, when you feel an emotion, what you’re really sensing is the vibration of a particular energy. Each emotion has its own vibratory signature, and when intense emotions are felt, they can become trapped in your body, much like a ball of energy.

These “balls of energy” can become lodged just about anywhere in your body, where they can then cause disruptions in your body’s energy system, which underlies your physical system much like an invisible matrix.

Your body cannot tell the difference between an actual experience that triggers an emotional response and an emotion fabricated through thought process alone—such as when worrying about something negative that might occur but has not actually happened, or conversely, thinking about something positive and pleasant.

The latter, of course, will help your body to express many of the health benefits associated with happiness, while ruminating or focusing on negativity can literally manifest disease.

The Health Benefits of Happiness

Happiness not only feels good… it’s physically good for your body, too. For instance, past research has found that positive emotions –including being happy, lively and calm — appear to play a role in immune function. One study found that when happy people are exposed to cold and flu viruses, they’re less likely to get sick and, if they do, exhibit fewer symptoms.

The association held true regardless of the participants’ levels of self-esteem, purpose, extraversion, age, education, body mass or pre-study immunity to the virus, leading the lead researcher to say:

“We need to take more seriously the possibility that positive emotional style is a major player in disease risk.”

Further, in a study of nearly 200 heart failure patients, those with higher levels of gratitude had better mood, better sleep, less fatigue, and less inflammation, which can worsen heart failure, than those with lower levels.

What this means is that investing in your own happiness should not be viewed as a self-indulgent luxury. It represents an important piece of the puzzle when it comes to piecing together your overall health.

Your mind can only take so much stress before it breaks down, yet many neglect to tend to their emotional health with the same devotion they give to their physical well-being.

 Strategies to Stay Emotionally Healthy

It’s clear that your emotional state is intricately tied to your physical and mental states. So what can you do to stay emotionally healthy? Like achieving physical fitness or a healthy weight, this is an ongoing process… something that must be tended to each and every day. The good news is that small steps add up and can make a major different for your emotional health. Tips for emotional nurturing include:

  1. Be an Optimist

Looking on the bright side increases your ability to experience happiness in your day-to-day life while helping you cope more effectively with stress.

  1. Have Hope

Having hope allows you to see the light at the end of the tunnel, helping you push through even dark, challenging times. Accomplishing goals, even small ones, can help you to build your level of hope.

  1. Embrace Your Quirks

Self-deprecating remarks and thoughts will shroud your mind with negativity and foster increased levels of stress. Seek out and embrace the positive traits of yourself and your life, and avoid measuring your own worth by comparing yourself to those around you.

  1. Stay Connected

Having loving and supportive relationships helps you feel connected and accepted, and promote a more positive mood. Intimate relationships help meet your emotional needs, so make it a point to reach out to others to develop and nurture these relationships in your life.

  1. Express Gratitude

People who are thankful for what they have are better able to cope with stress, have more positive emotions, and are better able to reach their goals. The best way to harness the positive power of gratitude is to keep a gratitude journal or list, where you actively write down exactly what you’re grateful for each day. Doing so has been linked to happier moods, greater optimism and even better physical health.

  1. Find Your Purpose and Meaning

When you have a purpose or goal that you’re striving for, your life will take on a new meaning that supports your mental well-being. If you’re not sure what your purpose is, explore your natural talents and interests to help find it, and also consider your role in intimate relationships and ability to grow spiritually.

  1. Master Your Environment

When you have mastery over your environment, you’ve learned how to best modify your unique circumstances for the most emotional balance, which leads to feelings of pride and success. Mastery entails using skills such as time management and prioritization along with believing in your ability to handle whatever life throws your way.

  1. Exercise Regularly

Exercise boosts levels of health-promoting neurochemicals like serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine, which may help buffer some of the effects of stress and also relieve some symptoms of depression. Rather than viewing exercise as a medical tool to lose weight, prevent disease, and live longer – all benefits that occur in the future – try viewing exercise as a daily tool to immediately enhance your frame of mind, reduce stress and feel happier.

  1. Practice Mindfulness

Practicing “mindfulness” means you’re actively paying attention to the moment you’re in right now. Rather than letting your mind wander, when you’re mindful you’re living in the moment and letting distracting or negative thoughts pass through your mind without getting caught up in their emotional implications. Mindfulness can help you reduce stress for increased well-being as well as achieve undistracted focus.

All we can do is try to do the best we can

Source: Dr. Mercola – articles by Mercola.com

Health MATTERS – why “no diet” is the best diet

Yippee!  WE DON’T REALLY HAVE TO DIET AFTER ALL.  How great is that???  

brad1

his latest book
His latest book.  Available at Amazon.ca

Here to explain in a short video below is nutritional researcher, health expert and best selling author  Brad King.

Brad stopped by the Global News Morning show in Edmonton (on his Canadian book tour) to talk about “DIRTY DIETS.”

LINK:

http://globalnews.ca/video/2261730/brad-king-on-why-no-diet-is-actually-the-best-diet

LOOK, FEEL, And PERFORM Your Absolute Best!  

http://www.metabolicwarrior.com/

Metabolic Warrior is a brand new website still in the process of being updated.  In the meantime you can sign up for their newsletter to become part of the warrior tribe. This is where you will receive valuable information products, and services specifically designed to help you look, feel and  perform at your absolute best.

Now excuse me while I go to the fridge….

A SUMMER SUMMERY

Today is August 31st – the last day of summer!

?

Okay, the last official day of summer is really September 21st but for me today marks the end, for after today it doesn’t feel the same as we start to move slowly towards Fall.  While I love Fall for the clothes mostly I still want to hang on to summer and milk it for all it’s worth.  This summer was fantastic weather wise except for the forest fires, so the best thing to look forward to now is Fall boots and sweaters see, it’s all about the clothes and maybe Halloween.  It’s funny though how everything can change in an instant and we still tend to adapt.  Well I’m moving a bit slower this time.  My flip flops are not moving to the back of the closet just yet……….  I love the warmth and lightness of summer and think what you wilI but I just bought the Beach Boys greatest hits to listen to while glamping.  So???

In this
In this pop top Eurovan camper
Parked right at the lake
Parked right at the lake where Jia Jia is walking back from in this photo

So here, for your viewing pleasure, is a pleasureable last days of summer re-cap:

Lake Kalamalka, Penticton. Jia Jia realizing he could swim.
Lake Kalamalka, Okanagan, B.C.  Jia Jia realizing he can swim.  And me too for that matter.  Just kidding, but it was coooold!
I was preparing at Kits Pool
I started preparing at Kits Pool
With good friends like family
With good friends who are like family
A friend flew in for the party
Some hot shots flew in for the get together/party/= lots of food & wine/= meeting some nice new people too and catching up with old friends like no time has passed (= good friends).
My friends place
Staying at a friends place in the Kootenays – a resort style home with an amazing view.

20150822_15105620150822_15083620150822_17303420150822_150651

Friends we met on our first stop
Friends we met at the first campsite
Freshly picked Okanagan Peaches
Freshly picked Okanagan Peaches

Jia Jia’s favourite moments:

Waiting for his ice cream cone
Waiting for his ice cream cone
His new friend Hugo
Jia Jia’s new friend Hugo, a Silver Lab.
Hugo found a ball
Hugo found a ball
Hugo found a stick
Hugo found a stick
Jia Jia found a deer
Jia Jia found a deer at another friend’s property = lotta landscape
And crossed a few bridges
And crossed over a few bridges
Japanese Garden
Japanese Garden
I found a salt water pool I can live in - or at least float in.
I found a salt water pool I can live in – or at least float in.  But why is the cup holder empty?

The cup must always be full!

And how was your summer?

Photos: d. king (except for the obvious)

 

Décor – casual island living

When you live on the water I think you want something reflective of your surroundings. These photos from a friends house overlooking a lake show a balance of simple comfy casualness mixed with sophistication. Of course I love all the sea details with starfish, shells and fish strewn throughout the house.

This is a little sitting nook to have coffee, afternoon tea or just relax or read a book.
A little breakfast nook to have coffee, afternoon tea or just relax and read
The view is the main attraction
The view is the main attraction but there’s no shortage of places to sit & chat
Country Style
Country Style hanging pots & pans with lots of sunshine that flows from all directions
I like the wood details & oversized comfortable sofa & chairs
I like the wood details & oversized chair & sofa – well suited for the location

prospectdesign4

I like this stained glass piece in the entryway
I like this stained glass piece in the entryway even though the owner wants to replace it with something different.

Colourful artwork is displayed all over the house but I’ve decided not to post photos as they are stolen private.

Do you have a favourite home style?

For me, it’s a mix of belongings picked up from various travels.  All that matters is that they have meaning to me and bring back memories of places, people and times.  I like a combination of rustic and modern, colour,  black & white or plain white walls with lots of art.  I’m leaning towards less is more now (don’t laugh, I mean that). Ideally, I would have several small homes and each one would be different. A pied-à-terre in Paris, New York and something on the beach. In the meantime, I will live vicariously through some of my friends. It’s always nice to see other people’s tastes.

Photos: d. king

Lifestyle: Vancouver/Gulf Island Living

Ahhhhh…the life of some people!

View from house on Piers
View from living room – house on Piers Island (Gulf Islands in the distance)

Spending the summer in Vancouver near the beach makes me feel like I don’t really need to escape.  The weather has been perfect and with plenty of picturesque places to walk, run, rollerblade, ride a bike or just relax in a chaise lounge, why go anywhere else?

but I didn't want my deck shoes would go to waste
because I didn’t want my deck shoes to go to waste

But having said that, I just came back from spending three amazing days & nights on two little hidden gems.  The first day/night was spent with a friend who lives on Prospect Lake where the water is warm enough to swim in and we watched a resident bald eagle at fairly close range. And we ate very well.

Prospect appies that houseguest Bill prepared - cordon bleu style
Prospect appies that houseguest Bill prepared – cordon bleu style.  He even made homemade elderberry jelly.  I don’t even know what an elderberry looks like but the jelly is superb, especially on homemade pecan smoked duck breast. Oh; he also made goat cheese filled siljans with roasted red pepper & garlic jelly…yeah!
Next door neighbour flying high
The bald next door neighbour is a member of the extra mile high club

The last two days/nights were spent on a friends oceanfront property on Piers Island which is a little island near Sydney, B.C.  There are only about 40 permanent residents and about 123 ocean front lots. We took his boat from Canoe Cove and landed on his doorstep about a 15 minute ride dock to dock.

From dock to deck. On Piers we didn't go very far.
From dock to deck.  On Piers we didn’t have far to go – to get to where we were going.

Soooo I can be an island girl as it turns out..at least for three days.  A break from the city is a nice change and doing nothing but taking in the view, eating good food while taking in the view and walking the dogs while taking in the view is really as good as it gets.

Prospect View
Prospect View with a bowl of homemade soup

There were two dogs on Prospect and three on Piers and they were in doggie heaven. Piers has no cars so we could take them off leash through the trails. People leave boxes of unwanted stuff outside their places with notes attached that say “help yourself.” Someone left a bike and our friend was going to buy one so we ended up bringing him the one we found.  At least I’m hoping it was meant to be taken (it was).

From the back of the house on Piers - to the trails
From the back of the house on Piers Island – to the trails that feel like you’re in the country

Many arty people who have little work studios and make jewellery and glass objects live there.  More people tend to paint and make jam in these places.  Come to think of it, the last time I went to Gabriola to visit a friend we overnighted on Saltspring, left with a bag of quince berries from a B+B we stayed at and went back to Gabriola to make quince jam…because that’s what you’re supposed to do in these quaint locations.  Take it easy and make jam.

Bill made me a Nespresso Cappuccino Fantastico
Bill made me a Nespresso Cappuccino Fantastico.  Those machines are a great investment.

?

Tea Time on Prospect Lake
Tea Time on Prospect Lake

What is it about these small islands that brings out your artistic side? 

Is it because you have more time on your hands or is it simply a better place to be?

– Only no time will tell –

I tried to load one more little thing from the wheel barrel to the boat....looks like I'll have to wait.
I tried to load one more little thing from the wheel barrel to the boat….looks like I’ll have to wait until next time. Hope that time is soooon.

Photos: d. king

Feel-good Friday: a day in the life

I like to start my day off right

Protein Smoothie
ULTIMATE Protein Smoothie with frozen wild blueberries, organic banana, low fat yogurt, almond milk, flax & chia seeds and the ABOVE (Brad King’s ULTIMATE Fibrelean, Wild Greens & Energy Protein – all Vegan, all amazing.  And a bunch of the littlest mermaids which make it taste all that much better.

Here are some of my latest obsessions:

A pedicure with a totally different colour. Did you know that Tiffany owns the right to the Tiffany blue color? This is very close though.
A pedicure with a totally different colour. Did you know that Tiffany owns the patent for the Tiffany blue colour? That’s why you will never find it. This is the closest I’ve come to Tiffany this week.
Homemade Soap - good enough to EAT!
Homemade Soap – good enough to EAT!

JACK, the Jack Russell Terrier from Thailand who stole my heart and is quickly taking advantage and I’m totally letting him.

He looks so innocent
He looks so innocent
Especially when he's sleeping.
Especially when he’s sleeping
But he can be a little devil. Here he pretends to be a statue.
But he can be a little devil. Here he pretends to be a statue.
Meeting up with a friend Ahhhh...a perfect way to end a day (well not quite, but close enough)!
Feeling bubbly – Rendezvous with a view.

Ahhhh…a perfect way to end a hectic work week (well not quite if you know what I mean, but close enough)!

How do you like to start and end yours?

Photos: d. king

health MATTERS: oxytocin, the feel good hormone – not all hearts and roses?

 We all want to feel good. A stream of studies in the last decade have focused on oxytocin’s effects on body and mind.

the best things in life are these
the best things in life are these

Like antennas picking up a signal, oxytocin receptors are found on cells throughout the body.

Oxytocin has long been called the “love hormone” (although it sounds more like a laundry detergent) — responsible for attachment, bonding and plenty of those feel-good moments we have with other people and our pets. The naturally-occuring chemical is thought of as an anti-anxiety drug and used in couples counselling. But, new research shows the hormone isn’t all hearts and roses — there may be a dark side.

Like love, this powerful hormone is a complicated thing and it affects men and women differently. Here’s how the oxytocin is affecting your relationships, from sex to breakup recovery.Oxytocin1

1. It Makes Breakups Worse
Have a painful memory of your ex that never seems to go away? A new study found that oxytocin has the ability to enhance anxiety and fear for stressful events in the future. So, when something is negative, like your failed relationship, oxytocin activates a part of the brain that intensifies, even prolongs your bad thought, which increases the chance it’ll become a long-term, painful memory. Ouch. As if breakups weren’t bad to begin with.

2. It Puts You In The Mood
A drug that gives you a better sex life? Nope, not talking about Viagra. Oxytocin, along with it’s ability to facilitate hugs and touches, has also been proven to boost sexual arousal. In a study from the University of California, men who sniffed a nasal spray containing oxytocin became more affectionate, had a stronger libido and they even were more satisfying lovers. Naturally, the wives weighed in for that one.

3. It Makes You Fall Head Over Heels … Sometimes Too Quickly
Released during sex, oxytocin is what connects us to our partner. The chemical accelerates an emotional connection right after a physical one. Studies suggest the bonding hormone is more powerful in women, making them attached to the men they sleep with — whether they’re a friend with benefits or a husband. Sound familiar? Your Tango expert Moushumi Ghose writes that there may be a such thing as an oxytocin overdose. And, studies show that too much oxytocin can cause men to be even less interested. “In this all too common scenario, one person may feel attached and therefore chase, while the other will run away.”

4. It Strengthens Your Relationship
The bonding hormone has been known to increase trust, make us generous and keep us supportive, but it’s also keeping you there for the long haul. The chemical is also responsible for the longevity of a relationship. A study published in Psychoneuroendocrinology discovered that couples with high-oxytocin levels laughed more often, touched more frequently and even finished each other’s sentences than those with low levels of the hormone.

5. It Makes You A Better Mother
The powerful hormone isn’t just affecting your romantic love — it’s responsible for maternal love, too. It plays an essential role in helping moms give birth and bond with their babies. Not only does it help induce labour, post-birth, it’s makes moms affectionate with their little ones. Researchers at Bar-Ilan University in Israel found a strong connection between the levels of oxytocin and the amount of attention new moms paid to her baby. In fact, it was the first trimester of the pregnancy that was most significant in predicting the mother-infant bonding behaviour. Higher levels of the hormone during that time period correlated to more bonding and embracing after the birth.

6. It Helps Resolve Your Arguments
Several studies have found that increased oxytocin levels can improve facial reading, empathy and how we determine others’ emotional states. But it might go beyond understanding our partner’s feelings better. Researchers from the University of Oxford argue that giving oxytocin nasal spray to couples may end marital conflicts, decrease stress hormones and boost the relationship.

7. It Makes Men Monogamous
Oxytocin is an essential hormone for monogamy in the animal kingdom and it’s been proven to foster trust in humans, but a recent study reveals it may also be what’s keeping your man faithful. Researchers in Germany found that oxytocin may be strengthening your bond even when you’re apart. The study found that attached men who were given a oxytocin-filled nasal spray kept a significantly greater distance between themselves and attractive women than the single participants did. Good work, oxytocin.

Now, where to get that nasal spray??

It works the same way with our pets.

What is it about the bond between human and dog that is not like the relationship between parent and child?

KIRA
KIRA , I will definitely miss our sleepovers. XO

Now science offers a new explanation for the similarity. When our dogs gaze into our eyes with that “you are everything to me” look, our bodies — and theirs as well — are flooded with oxytocin, the hormone of love and nurture that cements the bond between people.

Life/Style:  life coach, guru, mentor, whatever – what’s it all about?

Why are there so many life coaches out there?

First you must have a life
First you must have a life

It’s becoming stylish to hire a life coach. Remember when life was simple (well simple enough when you were little and your parents made all the decisions on your behalf)?  Why is it that now there appears to be more of a need for professional help for reasonably healthy individuals on how to live our lives? Are we capable of making our own decisions and choices without consulting a professional?

Are we that helpless, misguided and confused in our personal and professional choices?  Hey, there’s nothing wrong with seeking help but where do we draw the line?

I can understand hiring a financial advisor to help sort out your financial goals, a marriage/couples counsellor or shrink for personal & trauma situations or a sports coach.  I just never got the role of “lifestyle coach” so I did a bit of research.  It’s kind of like having a personal trainer but for your life. 

life2Just like the people who push athletes to greatness in sports, life and wellness coaches push their clients to find success and satisfaction from their job or lifestyle.

When considering a particular area of life, be it career, family, relationships, health, and so on, individuals fall into one of five camps:

1.I don’t know what I want;
2. I know what I want, but don’t know how to get it;
3. I know what I want and how to get it, but something keeps holding me back;
4. I know what I want, how to get it and I’m motivated and on track; and
5. I know what I want and I’ve already got it!

Life Coaching 101: Life coaching helps in an in-depth way that crosses all the contexts of your life.  For example in your job and in retirement, in your personal life, your social ife, and in public areas.  A life coach helps you, in just about any context, to do things like…

get unstuck, climb out of your box

  • create healthy habits
  • have more fun
  • unleash your creativity
  • improve your relationships
  • connect to your life purpose and your inner passions
  • develop your leadership potential
  • identify and reach your goals.life3
  • Anyone can call themselves a coach. It is true that being good life coach does not require certification or credentials from an accredited Coach Training Program.
  • But a Life Coach whose passion is in “being” a coach will want to be the best he/she can be. They’ll seek out a reputable coach training program. They’ll be a life-long-learner, a seeker who wants to give himself/herself knowledge and skills and tools beyond his/her natural (and excellent) intuition and listening skills.

      What is the role as a client?

  • As the client you will bring to coaching the Agenda. Where you are at present in your life and where you want to be in the future. You will use the tools, concepts and principles that the coach will provide during each session to take the courageous actions which will help you create the life you want. You will be fully responsible for your transformation in accordance with your values, your preferences and your personal circumstances.

      What is the role of coach?

  • The role of a coach is to help you maintain the focus on the way to your transformation and to notice the currents below the surface of what seems like calm shimmering water. With powerful questioning, intuition, inquiry, challenges and respect for who you are and where you are, a good coach will stretch you and challenge you, but above all will light the way when you are lost and can’t see the ‘bigger picture’ as doubt and fear is all you can see.

I can see a niche for this but what kind of people are qualified?  If someone is going to set your life on track they better have a lot of attributes. The ideal coach would have to be emotionally balanced, very patient, financially secure or at least financially stable, have a spiritual nature, be lots of fun, has or has had a successful job or career, a people-person, healthy, creative, goal oriented, compassionate, a good listener, a bit of a fortune teller and a drill sargeant, a detective in helping you decide what you want and a true leader.  In other words – if not perfect, then almost perfect.

I haven’t met anyone quite like this and until I do I’ll continue to make my own decisions which usually leads to making some mistakes but at least I have no one else to blame but myself. I am however considereng becoming a life coach should anyone care to hire me kidding of course.

Have you ever looked into becoming a life coach or considered hiring one?