Category: THINKAboutit

Think about what MATTERS most, mindful little things and things that make a difference.

THINKAboutit

Contemplating the Conscious

Being conscientious means you have a conscious.  If everyone listened to their conscious it would likely be a better world.

Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity – Martin Luther King, Jr.

from THE HAPPY SHOW
And it is only through constant training that the two can learn how to work together.  From THE HAPPY SHOW.
There are two kinds of artists in this world; those that work because the spirit is in them, and they cannot be silent if they would, and those that speak from a conscientious desire to make apparent to others the beauty that has awakened their own admiration – Anna Katharine Green (American poet and novelist).
 Then there’s pre-consciousness. Freud‘s original German term for the preconscious was das Vorbewusste.  He claimed:

“If consciousness is then the sum total of everything of which we are aware, pre-consciousness is the reservoir of everything we can remember, all that is accessible to voluntary recall: the storehouse of memory. This leaves the unconscious area of mental life to contain all the more primitive drives and impulses influencing our actions without our necessarily ever becoming fully aware of them, together with every important constellation of ideas or memories with a strong emotional charge, which have at one time been present in consciousness but have since been repressed so that they are no longer available to it, even through introspection or attempts at memory.”

THINKAboutit

Contemplating Impressions

Leave a positive footmark on people’s lives by not stepping on their toes.smile-first-impressions

People are like stained – glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within. – Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Be aware of people’s patterns. People tend to keep the same patterns.  Some make lovely patterns and some make dreadful ones.

“The scariest thing about distance is that you don’t know whether they’ll miss you or forget you.” – Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook (I loved this movie).

When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time. – Maya Angelou

Relationships are a Merry-go-Round

Right Person, Wrong Time

Right Time, Wrong Person,

Right Time, Right Person, Wrong Ending

And life goes on…

THINKAboutit

Contemplating the ART of a PERFECT BREAKUP

  Where were all the *red flags?  breakup5

Spoiler Alert: there is no such thing as the “perfect breakup.” There is however a better, nicer and more diplomatic way to deal with someone you plan to break up with. It’s all in the handling of the situation.  First and foremost, Compassion is key.breakup1 First you’ve got to let the person down easy (you never know if they’ll throw a tantrum, get violent, or worse, start crying uncontrollably). You never know these things so it’s best for the “breakor” to let the “breakee” know how terrific they are, even though you’ve just met someone more terrific and moved on at the blink of an eye.  It’s also a good idea to let the “breakee” know that you’ve been going through your own difficulties…because you don’t want to make yourself look good at this point.  Make the person you want to leave feel that they’re better off without you which could end things faster… even though that’s messed up.

Now; a more sensitive way would be to sit the person down and tell them the news face to face, but failing that, there’s always e-mail or texts. Worst case scenario, a simple post-it-note will do the trick (but get the 4×4 size). Remember, the goal is to try to end it ASAP. And don’t forget to make a closing remark in the order of “we should get together sometime.” Yeah; sooner or later the truth comes out.

REALITY BITS.  Trying to keep it real…

In spite of disconcerting situations such as a friend who suddenly and unexpectedly turns their back on you with no explanation,

Or worse, someone you thought could turn out to be a life partner decides to dump you for someone else….although you didn’t realize it because they were so good at making it look like they were doing it for your best interests. Then you finally woke up to the realization that they weren’t being considerate of your situation at all, only trying to end it as quickly as possible (with no opportunity to discuss possibilities) in order to begin again with someone they apparently just met.  It hurts to know you were not only  dispensable but not so special to them after all. And you held this person in such high regard. If they tell you it’s important that you know that they met someone else then yes, it is important that they tell you, especially if you think you’re still in the relationship. Maybe they were faithful while they were with you, keeping in mind they were intimate with you as recently as a week before they were with someone else.  To you intimacy is meaningful. You might have been intending to make a lifetime decision and they saved you from doing so just in the nick of time.  You thought you were a perfect match? But there’s a damn good chance they would have broken up with you later on anyway.breakup4

So look out for those who project onto you what they themselves will ultimately do.

A wise woman I know once said of someone who openly flirted with her husband “if she can catch him, she can keep him.”  Which translates into something like: why worry about someone taking away something that is so easily transferable?

And that girlfriend; is keeping it real!breakup6

WAIT…I have to share the all-time “Best in Breakup” story.  A friend of mine was on a date with her boyfriend at a restaurant.  Said boyfriend went to the bar to order a drink and met someone while at the bar that he was very interested in getting to know.  When he returned to the table he told my friend he remembered meeting this woman years ago at a party and was interested then, so now he didn’t want to ruin his chance….even though he was already on a date.  Without a word of a lie he told my friend this strange woman was the “woman of his dreams”. Let’s give him credit for at least sitting down in person to tell her. But as it turns out this dream woman was happily married. Craazzy right? He spoke too soon without knowing anything about her while ruining his present relationship.  Some guys!!!

Do you have a breakup story to top this?  I didn’t think so.

 *indicates a warning signal that something is wrong.  You may have overlooked something or chosen to ignore it.  example: nice to you one minute, very cool the next. You chalk it up to a bad day……you know what I’m talking about.

 

 

 

THINKAboutit

contemplating…unconditional love

Unconditional love is caring about the happiness of another person without any thought for what we might get for ourselves.  It’s akin to having had the love of good parents (lucky me).

I saw this on a wall & it made me think
I saw this on a wall & it made me think

I was running with a friend when me came across this wall graffiti.  We were just talking about doing the best we can to look after ourselves in terms of working out and our overall health.  Because in actuality how can we wholly give ourselves to another person without being in tip-top shape mentally and physically ourselves?  Or at least trying to?

“No matter how many times she was told that she was loved, there was no recognition that the proof was in the abandonment.” – Markus Zusak, The Book Thiefunconditional2

“There must be a stronger foundation than mere friendship or sexual attraction. Unconditional love, agape love, will not be swayed by time or circumstances. ” -Stephen Kendrick, The Love DareuncondloveIf you want loyalty and unconditional love just get a dog. 

What do you think?

THINKAboutit

Contemplating…too many scientific studies?

One day it’s this, another day it’s that! I find it somewhat relevant that A New Study Finds that There Are Too Many Studies.

Talk about changing your mind!
Talk about changing your mind!

A growing number of scientific studies is making it harder for researchers to keep track of all their content.

A new paper published by professors from universities in Finland and California, reports that “the attention that can be devoted to individual papers measured by their citation counts, is bound to decay rapidly,” due to the overwhelming number of studies.study3The research suggests that the decay is accelerating in recent times signalling that papers are forgotten more quickly. The study focused on scientific research but notes that the same concept can be applied to the internet and popular culture.

“Over the past years, thanks to the Internet, a huge amount of data has allowed a thorough investigation of the dynamics of collective attention to online content, ranging from news stories to videos and memes. Here attention is measured by the number of users’ views, visits, posts, downloads, tweets. It is also noted that the attention decays over time, not only because novelty fades, but also because the human capacity to pay attention to new content is limited,” the study explains.

The conclusion states that due to the exponential growth of these publications scholars “forget” papers more easily now than in the past, sometimes making it harder to isolate the most relevant information.

Do you agree?

Source: PALO ALTO, Calif. (CBS Sacramento)

THINKAboutit

contemplating… change

“We can’t be afraid of change. *You may feel very secure in the pond that you are in, but if you never venture out of it, you will never know that there is such a thing as a sea, an ocean. Holding onto something that is good for you now, may be the very reason why you don’t have something better.” – C. JoyBell C.

change4“Bottom line is, even if you see ’em coming, you’re not ready for the big moments. No one asks for their life to change, not really. But it does. So what are we, helpless? Puppets? No. The big moments are gonna come. You can’t help that. It’s what you do afterwards that counts. That’s when you find out who you are.” – Joss Whedon

Just when the caterpiller thought the world was over it became a butterfly.
Just when the caterpiller thought the world was over it became a butterfly.

 Life moves very fast. It rushes from Heaven to Hell in a matter of seconds.” – Paulo Coelho.  Or, from Hell to Heaven – me

“The only person worthy of your love is not one who overstayed in the relationship without a single change, but one, who appeared like an angel, and used a single day to make a million changes.”  – Michael Bassey Johnson.

“Some changes occur suddenly like a brilliant flash of lightning striking across a dark sky. These changes are stunning, exciting but can be quickly forgotten. Other changes happen slowly, gradually, like a flower blooming in early spring, each day unfurling its petals another fraction of an inch towards the warm, nurturing sun. These changes are as inevitable as nature running its course; they’re meant to be.” – Suzi Davis

Its time for us as a people to start making some changes, lets change the way we eat, lets change the way we live, and lets change the way we treat each other.

But memories last forever! Thank god for that.
But memories last forever! Thank god for that.

*Some people never leave the place they were born.  They marry their high school sweetheart, have children, hold a steady but ordinary job and remain completely happy. Does that mean they have to change? I think not.  They can be perfectly happy this way.  As long as they’re fine with it, we should be too.  It’s okay to push change but it’s okay to stay the same too – as long as you’re good with it. – me

 

THINKAboutit

Words…Happiness as a Role vs. True Happiness

“How are you?”  Just great.  Couldn’t be better.”  True or False?happy

In many cases, happiness is a role people play, and behind the smiling façade, there is a great deal of pain.  Depression, breakdowns, and overreactions are common when unhappiness is covered up behind a smiling exterior and brilliant white teeth, when there is denial, sometimes even to one’s self, that there is much unhappiness.

“Just fine” is a role the ego plays more commonly in America than in certain other countries where being and looking miserable is almost the norm and therefore more socially acceptable.

Be aware that what you think, to a large extent, creates the emotions that you feel.  See the link between your thinking and your emotions.  Rather than being your thoughts and emotions, be the awareness behind them.

Don’t seek happiness.  If you seek it, you won’t find it, because seeking is the antithesis of happiness.  Happiness is ever elusive, but freedom from unhappiness is attainable now, by facing what is, rather than making stories about it.  Unhappiness covers up your natural state of well-being and inner peace, the source of true happiness.

Source: Eckhart Tolle’s “A New Earth” (the Life Purpose Bible).

 

 

THINKAboutit

What MATTERS: good Intentions

Intention is Everything!  Oprah Winfrey quoted Martin Luther King “If you can see it and believe it, it is a lot easier to achieve it.”  It’s about Visualization.  I find this fascinating and believe it to be true.win1

Actor Jim Carrey parked his car on Mulholland Drive every night before anybody knew about him, with the visualization of becoming the Hollywood star that he inevitably became. He even wrote himself a ten million dollar check for a movie deal, and dated it five years from that very day. Can you guess what eventually happened? Not long before that date came along, he secured ten million dollars to star in the movie Dumb and Dumber.  That Jim is no dummy!

Being that Jim Carrey is one of the funniest comedians in history I thought it would be pretty cool to meet him, and luckily I had the pleasure of doing so not just once, but on several occasions through a mutual friend.  I found him to be extremely intelligent, captivating and humble all at once.  And I never thought it unusual to be in his presence because I visualized being there as normal.

The power of visualization has been instrumental in turning dreams into reality for not only folks like Jim,  but elite and successful people in every field: professional athletes, business CEO’s, speakers, singers, and performers…YOU?

Please take time to watch this inspiring 11 minute video of actor Jim Carrey sharing his life changing realization.  Take from it what you will but whatever your beliefs, I hope you agree that having good intent and positive visualization makes for healthier living. Have a great weekend.

LINK TO VIDEO:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cEOW_uhF8bk#t=26

Credit: http://meaningfulwesternlife.com (a website about cultivating joy and meaning through meditation in a western society lifestyle.)