Girl Who Would be KING on Life, Style and INSPIRATION.

Personally speaking – we should respect boundaries

“Good fences make good neighbors” – Robert Frost

Recognize this sign? It protects a border and when that border (or boundary) is crossed there can be consequences. It’s easy to understand this type of border because you can clearly see the sign and the area it protects. Personal boundaries can be harder to define because the lines are invisible, can change, and are unique to each individual.

Enforcing a healthy boundary for yourself with friends and other relationships can be empowering. It doesn’t mean you aren’t available or don’t want to do something for another person but by recognizing the need to set and enforce some limits, you protect your self-esteem & maintain self-respect. The person will get the picture that they can only push so far. One great benefit of setting a boundary will be to get freedom from bad behaviour.

We can be good friends but we need to be good friends to ourselves too.

We’ve all had the experience when our personal space has been invaded. Personal boundaries, just like the “No Trespassing” sign are determined by the amount of physical and emotional space you allow between yourself and others. Personal boundaries help you decide what types of communication, behaviour, and interaction are acceptable. Sadly, a few of us just don’t get it!

It is impossible to have a healthy relationship with someone who has no boundaries.

We need to be able to tell other people when they are acting in ways that are not acceptable to us. A first step is starting to know that we have a right to protect and defend ourselves. That we have not only the right, but the duty to take responsibility for how we allow others to treat us.

Why do we have trouble establishing and/or protecting our boundaries? One reason is that we might not know where our boundaries are. Another is that we are afraid of the consequences of protecting our boundaries (ie. others will be angry, hurt or rejected.) Sometimes we don’t assert our boundaries because we want to keep the peace and avoid any conflict. Other times we have difficulties because we did not have the opportunity as a child to learn how to create healthy boundaries.

GENEROUS PEOPLE SET BOUNDARIES. If you don’t set boundaries you are giving yourself away. With boundaries you only give what you want, which means you can afford to be generous to more people over a longer period of time.

Do you agree?

FUN

In the beauty cabinet – face time product review!

I love a tinted moisturizer for winter.

This is a follow up to my recent post about BB creams (beauty balms). I’m now going to speed things up a bit & fast forward to the latest face craze – the CC cream. Basically the beauty companies have added color & correction to the mix. Confused? You would have to try several brands to know the difference.

I have now had the opportunity to test out the Olay Total Effects CC Cream – 7 in One Tone Correcting Moisturizer with Sunscreen (Light to Medium) for a.m. use only.

It is said to fight the 7 signs of aging: ~~only 7?~~ 1) reduce the appearance of fine lines, 2) nourishing moisturization for a radiant, healthy-looking glow, 3) subtle lifting & hydrating for firmer skin appearance, 4) brightening which improves skin surface dullness, 5) improves texture for smoothe and even skin, 6) minimizes the appearance of pores and finally 7) tone enhancement which helps to balance color and reduce the appearance of age spots. A lotta claim for one 50 ml. pump bottle.

I can’t vouch for all seven claims but I was pleasantly surprised by this product. It appeared to match my skin tone very nicely as it melted right in, it moisturized well & covered tiny imperfections. The added SPF is a bonus – for winter it should be sufficient. Anything below SPF15 doesn’t really do anything. Anything above 30 isn’t necessary. Of course I still needed to use a little bit of primer (for shine) around the nose area but it covered better than any of the BB creams I tested. It was similar to the BB’s in hydration and coverage but appeared to brighten & camouflage more like a tinted foundation. The price is very reasonable and the company has been around for a long time. Their product line is impressive as far as drugstore selections go and ‘as good’ or ‘better’ than many department or beauty store brands.

There may be something better out there in the CC department but right now I’m satisfied with this product. Let’s face it – there is no “one” magic do-all face cream is there? If you know of one please tell me. In the meantime this does the trick (almost) for my sensitive combination skin.

$22.00 at drugstores like Walgreens in the U.S. and approx. $25.00 in Canada.

The best deal: Costco now has a special two-pack on for about $35.00 which you can split with a friend.

Directions: apply liberally and blend evenly with your fingertips for natural, sheer coverage. Use it alone or layered under your favorite foundation for more coverage if need be.

Have you tried BB’s or CC’s? Which do you prefer or can you even tell the difference?

STYLE

Timeless style – what you might not know

About the World’s Most Popular Handbags

The Bag: Chanel 2.55

What You Might Not Know: People often focus on the bag’s quilted leather material, but what was really revolutionary about the 2.55 was the chain strap. Back when Coco Chanel invented it, women used to carry their bags in their hands all the time. What a hassle!

The Bag: Hermès Birkin

Kris Kardashian - Getty Images — Kris Jenner with her Birkin – Getty Images

What You Might Not Know: Lots of people refer to the bags as coming in two different hardware options: gold and silver. But that’s not silver! It’s actually palladium, a metal Hermès uses expressly because it never tarnishes. Good thing, considering what an investment one of these bags is.

The Bag: Fendi Baguette

Sarah Jessica Parker – Celebrity Street Style

What You Might Not Know: Released in the late 1990s, the Baguette’s the brainchild of the brand’s creative director Karl Lagerfeld (of Chanel fame). How can we forget SJP’s many baguettes on several episodes of Sex & the City. Remember when a guy stole her bag & she yelled after him correcting him that “it’s not a bag…..it’s a baguette!”

The Bag: Louis Vuitton Speedy

What You Might Not Know: It’s easy to associate the Speedy with in-your-face logos, but some of the most timeless, elegantly cool women have loved it through the decades, like Audrey Hepburn. She was a huge fan. This is just a timeless piece that reminds me a bit of a doctors bag.

The Bag: Longchamp

What You Might Not Know: If you’re not a French speaker, you may not have connected that “pliage” is the French word for fold. (Makes sense, because the most celebrated aspect of the bag is that it folds up, making it beyond ideal for traveling.) A fashionable friend of mine told me it helped her with bringing back extra outfits from Paris & so on an Air France flight I bought the same bag right on the plane (since it was in their duty free magazine & saved me a trip to the store) and I’ve been using it ever since. So light & convenient plus you can fold it tiny & store it in your suitcase (in case you need it). You will!

The Bag: Balenciaga City

Nicole Ritchie - Balenciaga. Getty Images — Nicole Ritchie – Balenciaga. Getty Images

What You Might Not Know: Originally, Balenciaga executives didn’t like the City bag all that much, and decided not to produce it—crazy, right?—until the designer, Nicolas Ghesquière, pleaded with them to make a few of the City bags as a trial. One just needs to look at the Fashionistas carrying it to know it was indeed the right decision, although personally it was never my favorite.

The Bag: Mulberry Bayswater

Kate Moss with her Mulberry. Getty Images

What You Might Not Know: Mulberry may be all about naming their recent bags after pop culture icons—the Del Rey for Lana Del Rey, the Alexa for Alexa Chung— ~~the King for me~~ but the Bayswater has a different genesis. True to the brand’s British roots, Bayswater’s the name of a West London neighborhood known for leafy streets and Georgian houses.

The anti-Bag: Anya Hindmarch “I’m Not a Plastic Bag” Tote

What You Might Not Know: while people were lining up to buy the cheeky, eco-friendly tote at a New York Whole Foods in 2007, the bag was massively popular everywhere around the globe. Especially in Taiwan, where the $7.50 tote created a riot (a legitimate riot!) upon its release.

*Every person in the country was using an average of 167 plastic bags each year, totalling around 10 billion bags. The company wanted to do something that repositioned bringing your own bag to the supermarket as something a little more stylish. Back in 2007, the general public, let alone the fashion elite, wouldn’t be seen dead pulling out a pocket full of old carrier bags at the till.

Confession: I paid about $20 for an eco-friendly grocery bag at Dean & Deluca in Napa because I liked the interesting foodie quotes scribbled all over which made carrying around my groceries more fun & fashionable. A sampling of….What You Might Not Know:

Cacao, means “food of the gods” and “cacao” is a Mayan word meaning ‘God Food’.

Honey is believed to be the only food that does not spoil. It was found in the tombs of the Egyptian pharaohs, tasted by archaeologists and found to still be edible.

The term ‘barista‘ is thrown around very lightly nowadays. In definition, you are not classed as a barista until you have made coffee on a full time basis for 5 years.

Now can the Louis Vuitton’s & the Chanel’s compete with that?

FUN

Simply Satisfying – dried limes

Yup, that’s it folks – one simple ingredient….limes, but dried!

Ha; did you think I ran out of recipes this week – or am I just being lazy? No, never! Actually I thought instead of sharing a new “IT” ingredient with you. That’s worth something isn’t it?

I use freshly squeezed limes over so many things – fish, chicken, tortillas, ceviche, key lime pie of course & let’s not forget about margaritas (but that’s not really a food is it?). I use lime zest over many things too. Now I want to try dried limes. I’ll tell you why: the sourness of citrus with the tang of fermentation.

Not sure if this will surpass Kale, but in a quest to decipher what the new “IT” will be, about a zillion trendsetting chefs were consulted. Among them, Boston’s Barbara Lynch (The Butcher Shop), NYC’s Amanda Cohen (DirtCandy), San Francisco’s Evan and Sarah Rich (Rich Table), and Austin’s Jodi Elliott (Foreign & Domestic).

Concensus was difficult (why be unanimous when you can be unique?), but there was one ingredient that popped out: dried limes, a classic Middle Eastern seasoning with a sour, aromatic tang and fermented undertones.

“Pound them up and grind them, and you have a powder for a spice,” says Sara Jenkins of NYC’s Porsena. “It brings a fresh brightness to anything,” adds Kim Alter of San Francisco’s Haven.

Though they look kind of like lumpy little rocks, dried limes actually have all kinds of uses as a flavoring. They are excellent used whole in soups and stews as well as lentil and bean dishes; when ground up, they’re great rubbed directly onto steaks or chops, or combined with other spices and a bit of oil to make a paste for rubbing on seafood.

First developed in Oman, dried limes are essential ingredients in the cooking of Iran, Iraq and the Gulf States. They also appear occasionally in northern Indian dishes. But unlike other once-exotic ingredients (preserved lemons and coconut milk come to mind), dried limes have remained well outside the mainstream pantry, even for more-adventurous American cooks. This is a shame. Dried limes turn out to be another one of those power ingredients that can transform a whole range of dishes with virtually no effort on your part.

The way they are produced could not be more straightforward: Small limes are boiled briefly in salt brine, and then they are laid out in the sun to dry over the course of several weeks.

In the Middle East, these limes are most often added whole to soups and stews. You simply wash them well, pierce them a couple of times with a sharp knife or a fork, and drop three of four of them into the pot. As the cooking liquid sluices through the limes, they add an evocative tang and a subtle complexity to the entire dish. It definitely brings new life to whatever seafood you rub it on too.

In Vancouver you can buy them at South China Seas Trading Company – Granville Island. This is where I buy my exotic spices & ingredients for Thai & Indian dishes.

both dkkkd — **both whole & crushed are available in Middle Eastern shops or Online.**

FUN

inspiration – diets

I have a great diet. You’re allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat people. ~Ed BluestoneWe’re the country that has more food to eat than any other country in the world, and with more diets to keep us from eating it – unknownThe biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books – how not to eat what you’ve just learned how to cook. ~Andy Rooney

If you have formed the habit of checking on every new diet that comes along, you will find that, mercifully, they all blur together, leaving you with only one definite piece of information: french-fried potatoes are out. ~Jean Kerr

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people. ~Orson Welles

Stressed spelled backwards is desserts. Coincidence? I think not!

FUN

be well – lose weight fast?

WAIT….not so fast! It sounded so good at first – EAT ALL YOU WANT…. just NOT when you want. Is that the secret to staying thin and healthy?Read this but remember to always consult your doctor before starting a diet and take everything with a grain of salt. This may not be the diet for you. This is one of the most recent buzzed-about diet crazes of late – it’s called “Intermittent Fasting (or IF for short), and it’s different from any other diet you’ve ever read about. IF lets you eat anything you want (see? – It started off so good) just not when you want (so you must use some kind of self control). And despite the “fasting” label you don’t ever have to go completely without food. Confused?

Bill Gifford investigates the science behind the latest diet fad.

The non-feeding frenzy has been fueled in part by The Fast Diet, a best-selling book from England. (The U.S. edition was released last February.) The idea behind it is simple: You can eat normally on five days out of the week, but on two nonconsecutive days (you pick them) you are limited to two small meals totaling just 500 calories (600 for men). Coauthors Michael Mosley and Mimi Spencer, both journalists, insist that this 5:2 eating pattern not only helps you lose weight, it improves a range of metabolic and even cognitive function, and may even help delay aging. The good news is that their claim seems to be backed up by a growing body of scientific research. Even better, the diet does not entail actual long-term fasting, you’re not going without food, you’re just going with less food.

Finally, intermittent fasting is almost infinitely flexible, and you can use it to design an eating program that fits your goals and your level of willpower. Some scientists believe that by alternating our eating patterns, we more closely mimic the feast-or-famine cycles that our prehistoric ancestors knew, those cycles in turn, helped shape our DNA. “Just like you need a good light/dark cycle to regulate your sleep, your body needs an eating/fasting cycle,” says Satchin Panda, a biologist in San Diego. Panda recently coauthored a study that found that mice on a high-fat diet gained far less weight when their eating hours were restricted to an eight-hour period than mice with 24-7 access to the same high-fat food – despite consuming the same number of calories. Food for thought.

During the fasting part of the cycle, scientists believe, our cells gradually switch over to a kind of survival mode, activating chemical reactions that not only burn off excess fat but also have been shown to combat the effects of aging. Studies have found that brief periods of fasting bring some of the same benefits of longer-term caloric restriction, such as increased insulin sensitivity, improved cholesterol profiles, better cognitive function, and, of course, weight loss. Animal studies have shown a reduced risk of cancer. Why? Like exercise, fasting induces a mild stress, says Mark Mattson, a neuroscientist at the National Institute of Aging. The cells are responsible for producing antioxidants. In other words, it’s good stress.

Indeed, the most successful fasting diets have been done with obese subjects. For normal weight people, the jury is still out. Loren Greene, a New York endocrinologist, discourages fasting if you are already very thin, have struggled with an eating disorder, or are diabetic or (especially) pregnant. It’s also important to stay well hydrated.Moreover experts caution against the days-long juice fasts popular in Hollywood and the fashion world. People say, “I went on a long fast, and I lost all this weight,” but that’s because you’re burning muscle and you lost water weight. It’s almost an illusion of success.

Forget illusions. We’ll take real cheesecake anytime, even if we have to wait a few hours to eat it.

FUN

Personally speaking – whatever happened to willpower?

Canadian Thanksgiving ended 4 days ago and so did my cravings for all things ‘pumpkin’ – or did it?

this + the salted caramel is the BEST ice cream

The importance of willpower needs to be revisited – as in “I will NOT have another slice of pie no matter what. Okay, just one more…it can’t hurt right?” After all I did manage to lose the extra pounds put on from a trip last Spring. I do NOT want to gain them back but I don’t want to deny myself another slice. This is an argument with myself – usually a no-win situation. It ends with okay..have your pie, enjoy it & deal with it later. Make yourself run an extra mile. ~~If you didn’t eat it you wouldn’t have to but now you do.~~

Research tells us that willpower is a limited resource. Each of us only has so much of it.

Control yourself! We all say it, mostly to ourselves. We say it when we ‘indulge’ in behaviors that cause short-term gain for long-term pain. And guilt (note to self – buy the book ‘toxic guilt’ recommended by a friend). I cite many of the usual suspects: eating the wrong things, being lazy, staying up too late, drinking too much. There are others, of course. Why do we do such things? After all, aren’t we entirely in control of ourselves all of the time?

Yes, and NO we are not! That makes us human I guess and some humans are so mean they’ll buy a jar of Earnest pumpkin pie ice cream and leave it in your freezer so that when you finish the real pumpkin pie but the cravings haven’t yet ended, you can indulge again! As I did…with a fork no less (as all the spoons were in the dishwasher) & I couldn’t wait. Finally..craving satisfied!

I’ll have to run an extra mile or two but now I’m too lazy so I’ll do it tomorrow instead. ~~It’s a tough circle.~~

FUN

In the beauty cabinet – cheap thrills

Beauty editors are particularly choosy about what products they spend money on. After all they get a lot of freebies, however they do admit – why splurge on a pricey eyeliner when there’s a $1 one that does the trick?

image from totalbeauty

Something to consider especially since we tend to spend a lot of $$$ on products. If you are going to shell out the big bucks, do it on something that benefits your skin — like an ultra moisturizing lipstick or an anti-aging cream and/or serum. But trendy, wear-once-in-a-while colors & some other face/body/hair care products? Those are your cheap thrills. Here are some to consider from Allure “best of beauty”

These 15 products belie their rock-bottom price tags (all are $10 or less) beautifully. Available at most drugstores in the U.S.

MAKEUP

NYC New York Color Smooth Skin Perfecting Primer, $3.99. The Spanx of primers: It firms, evens, and is so lightweight you won’t even notice that you’re wearing it.

Wet n Wild MegaGlo Illuminating Powder, $3.99. Swirled together, the ribbons create a rose-gold blush; used individually (wet or dry), they make lids glisten too.

NYX Matte Bronzer, $9. Shimmer-free and available in five sun-kissed shades, the powder makes it easy for every woman to have a believable bronze. The extra-large pan means you can keep the charade going year-round.

Mark “just pinched” instant blush tint in Berry, $8.

This cool raspberry sinks into skin for that proverbial glow, and doesn’t go MIA like so many cream blushes.

Rimmel London Glam’Eyes HD Quad Eye Shadow in Black Cab, $5.99. Blended together, the four shades strike the ideal balance of sparkle and soot for sexy smoky eyes. Use as liner too.

L’Oreal Voluminous Carbon Mascara – A unique formula of panthenol and ceramide-R builds and thickens voluptuous lashes while conditioning them, so they remain supple and healthy. An exceptionally plush brush is designed to glide on just the right amount of mascara without clumping or flaking. Non-irritating, fragrance-free formula is safe for sensitive eyes and contact wearers. Price: About $6 USD / $8 CDN. Overall: A great everyday mascara! Super black, holds a curl but just not as waterproof as expected.

Vaseline Lip Therapy in Cocoa Butter. So rich and effective, a pot slightly bigger than a Tootsie Roll is all you need to keep lips, cuticles, and even elbows smooth this winter.

SKIN

Pond’s Luminous Clean Daily Exfoliating Cleanser. So many all-in-ones fail to do much of anything. This mix of kaolin, microbeads, and shea butter smooths and soothes as well as three separate products.

Neutrogena Make Up Remover Cleansing Towelettes. These alcohol-free wipes erase the smudgy signs of a late night faster than it takes to chug a glass of water. Keep them on your bedside table.

Ambi Skincare Fade Cream. This hardworking cream plays offense (breaking up dark spots with 2 percent hydroquinone) and defense (protecting with

sunscreen).

HAIR

Aussie Moist 3 Minute Miracle Condition. Reforms the most overprocessed hair yet won’t overwhelm fine and frizzy types.

NAILS

Maybelline New York Color Show Nail Lacquer (shown here in Keep Up the Flame). Mint green, canary yellow, silver-flecked navy—there are certain trendy polish shades you want to play with before committing. At this price, you easily can do both.

BODY

Jergens Crema Hydrating Coconut Milk. So deliciously tropical, we half expect this vitamin-E-enriched moisturizer to be packaged in a hollowed-out coconut.

St. Ives Naturally Smooth Hand Cream, $2.99. This heavy-duty hydrator absorbs in seconds, so it leaves our hands (and iPad screens) grease-free. And it has just the faintest floral-citrus fragrance.

Aveeno Active Naturals Hydrosport Sunblock Spray SPF 30. A beach-bag essential: The clear spray clings to even soaking wet skin while the potent broad-spectrum sun protection swims laps around similarly priced sunblocks.

ANY OTHERS we should know about?

STYLE

style & substance: the Cardigan

Ahhh the cardigan – the perfect light cover up! I can never have enough cardigans.

Best Looks: From left to right, Michael Kors, No. 21, Alexander Wang, Pringle of Scotland and Burberry. — **Best Looks**: From left to right, **Michael Kors**, No. 21, **Alexander Wang**, **Pringle of** **Scotland** and **Burberry**. **Photo**: Garance Doré

A great part of any womans wardrobe. The practicality and convenience a cardigan provides is endless. Long or short, buttoned or unbuttoned, belted or not, without a doubt, classic cardigans are always in style….but some of the newer collections feature large knits with decorative fur & unusual asymmetry – some have no buttons or zippers.

You can choose to belt them or close them with a large safety pin (some would) or large broach.

They’re work appropriate but cardigans can also look sexy on top of light layers and soft fabrics.

There’s a style for every body type. Which is your favorite?

Images: fashionstyle.us

FUN

Simply Satisfying – Greek Potatoes with Lemon Vinaigrette

This is a *Bobby Flay recipe

Serves six

1 cup extra-virgin olive oil (preferably Greek)

6 Tbsp. fresh lemon juice

1 large shallot, quartered

2 cloves of garlic, chopped

4 sprigs oregano, leaves only (or 1 Tbsp. dried)

¼ cup fresh parsley leaves, plus 1 Tbsp. chopped, for serving

Kosher salt and fresh ground pepper

3 pounds large russet potatoes, cut lengthwise into wedges.

Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Put the olive oil, lemon juice, shallot, garlic, oregano and parsley in a food processor; add 1 tsp. salt, and pepper to taste. Puree until smooth.

Toss the potatoes with ½ cup of the prepared vinaigrette in a large bowl and spread in a single layer on a large rimmed baking sheet (reserve the remaining vinaigrette.) Roast the potatoes until tender and golden, turning occasionally, 45 minutes to 1 hour.

Transfer the potatoes to a platter and drizzle with some of the remaining vinaigrette. Season with salt and garnish with the chopped parsley.

Serve with the remaining vinaigrette on the side.

* Bobby BIO:

Bobby Flay is always busy with his hit Food Network shows: Barbecue Addiction, Throwdown, Boy Meets Grill and Food Network Star.

Bobby discovered his culinary identity at the age of 17, working as a cook at the famed theatre district haunt Joe Allen’s. The job had been arranged by his father, who was a partner in the restaurant. After a short time, Joe Allen himself became so impressed by Bobby’s talents that he paid the young cook’s tuition to the French Culinary Institute.

Following his graduation in 1984, Bobby worked with restaurateur/owner Jonathan Waxman at Buds and Jams, where he first discovered the sweet heat of Southwestern ingredients. It was at these burgeoning restaurants that he met other icons of the era – Wolfgang Puck, Jeremiah Tower — whom he credits with spawning an entire generation of chefs. After Jams, Bobby debuted as Executive Chef at the East Village’s Miracle Grill, where he caught the attention of restaurateur Jerome Kretchmer. Kretchmer offered the 25-year-old the opportunity to create his own sensation at Mesa Grill, which opened in 1991.

Bobby brought his unique amalgam of innovative food and inviting hospitality to Las Vegas with the 2004 opening of Mesa Grill at the legendary Caesars Palace. The city’s upbeat urban energy provides an ideal backdrop for Mesa Grill’s lively cuisine. In March 2007, Bobby brought Mesa Grill to The Cove Atlantis in Paradise Island, Bahamas, and in July 2008, opened his first Bobby’s Burger Palace (BBP) in Long Island.