Beauty break – wash your face without all the hassle

LAST NIGHT I was wondering what to put in the beauty post today. I didn’t really have a clue as I stopped to wash my face with yet another hotel face wipe before bedtime. It wasn’t really washing more than it was wiping away the remains of the day….that’s why they’re called wipes. Then a little light came on...before it went out.

There comes an evening when you just don’t have the time, it’s too late or you’re too tired ~~read LAZY~~ to clean up properly. I’m so happy these makeup removers come in convenient non-spill travel packs and they must be more popular than I ever imagined because just take a look at all the varieties:

the varieties, not all of them either — **the varieties**, and only some of them

So you can gently clean your face when you’re on the go….or not (I mean even when you’re still at home).

The Cleansing Cloths or towelettes will leave your skin feeling fresh and clean – without drying out or disturbing your skin’s natural pH balance.

The cetaphil cloths (like most of the others) are ultra-soft and gentle, dermatologist developed and tested, as well as ophthalmologist tested. So you can be confident in their ability to remove dirt and makeup without irritation. They’re also fragrance-free, non-comedogenic and hypoallergenic.

So this is the next best thing to actually taking a few minutes to really clean your face. Just hoping I don’t become too dependant on them.

How about you?

Girl Who Would be King, STYLE

Style: COACH gets a reborn identity at 75!

At 75 years old COACH is looking better than ever!

COACH VINTAGE Circa-1971 Coach Mahogany Leather Fringed Duffle Shoulder Bag - $995 — **COACH VINTAGE**
Circa-1971 Mahogany Leather Fringed Duffle Shoulder Bag – $995 USD

That can be due to a recent much needed facelift. It happens as we become more tired looking over time. However the Coach bags that I own have remained in very good shape over the years with no signs of diminishing. Almost like new. Of course it helps that I look after my stuff with kid gloves but mostly it has to do with the overall craftmanship. I always thought Coach never got the credit it deserves. Similar to another brand that makes beautifully well-made leather bags, Furla.

Coach is more widely known than Furla though, and loved by many. Most of us are familiar with the Coach logo (although I’ve never loved their bags with the highly recognizable logo written all over them – I prefer the hidden logo) and the attractive leather handbags are readily found in almost every city. Even though they’re well made using high quality leather and come in many colours and price points they never quite reached the “tops” in the designer bag category. They were considered a “starter” bag which sounds kind of snobby but I think it’s because you can find them everywhere and they have so many outlets. Also younger women can more afford them and if that’s the case and they’re made so readily available to the masses they are not deemed so ‘exclusive’. But that may change now as the brand becomes more upscale. It will be interesting to see what happens. They never had a problem selling but now they may become more sought after and appeal to a different demographic – a more sophisticated crowd.

COACH VINTAGE Circa-1973 Coach British Tan Leather Rip & Repair Small Dinky Bag $695 — **COACH VINTAGE**
Circa-1973 British Tan Leather Rip & Repair Small Dinky Bag – $695 USD

Not all about the BAG

They make more than bags you know and they have Stuart Vevers. Entering his third year as creative director for the brand, Stuart Vevers has revamped an American Classic into a brand every girl wants to wear again. A major feat. He is in charge of all creative aspects of the Coach brand, including Women’s and Men’s product design, brand imagery, and store environments. Since his takeover we can expect to see mini skirts and mod square-toed boots with a hint of bohemia & rock n’ roll details (studs, metallic, floral prints and leather – lots of it). It helps that cool girl Dree Hemingway is a model for them.

The ultimate nod is that they’re re-introducing some popular styles from the past – available exclusively at the exclusive department store Barneys no less.

COACH VINTAGE Circa-1972 Coach Black Leather Fringed Stewardess Bag $1,195 USD — **COACH VINTAGE**
Circa-1972 Black Leather Fringed Stewardess Bag – $1,195 USD

On the occasion of celebrating 75 years in the leather biz, the brand is taking a look back by launching three customized iconic vintage bags. The Dinky, Stewardess and Duffle were selected for the “Coach Vintage Collection,” sourced from collections all over the world, but originally created in NYC in the 1970s and 80s. Over 18 months, the bags underwent authentication and restoration processes before each was given one of three hand-applied motifs—Fringe, an homage to the American West, Rip and Repair, a nod to the baseball mitts that inspired the original founders of Coach and Vintage Stripe, a reference to classic Ivy League style. “This feels like the perfect way to honor our 75th anniversary by bringing together our heritage with something new in one project, “Vevers explains, “It was lots of fun creating these one of a kind pieces for Barneys.”

The limited-edition collection retails for $595-$1,195 and will be available exclusively at Barneys New York locations on Madison Avenue and Beverly Hills, as well as barneys.com.

THE BOOT: BANDIT Chelsea by Coach

Traditional Americana goes downtown in a cropped cowboy boot (always loved the cropped cowboy – maybe I’m a cowgirl at heart) colorblocked in black and oxblood leathers with a saddle leather gore and exotic embossing on the heel. This statement limited edition is finished with a low heel for all-day ease. Niiiice!

What do you think? Like or no like?

Food + Drink, Girl Who Would be King

FOOD Fad: I’ve Got a Bone to Pick

FOOD FANATICS see trends come and go, but sometimes chefs can take a good thing and turn it into a cliché. Case in point: these bone dishes we’ve been seeing a little too much of:

Marrow Overkill — A giant shank cut lengthwise is too much of a good thing. (I went to a top buffet in Vegas where they had platters of bone marrow). My friend was like “omg they have bone marrow…I’m so going for that”. I did too but it wasn’t the high point of my dinner.

Bone-In Burger — A burger with a bone sticking out just for laughs is…laughable.
Bone Broth — C’mon: Broth was made with bones centuries before the paleo craze.

I’m laughing because all of a sudden “bone broth” is a thing. People are drinking the liquid all day long as a medicinal to prevent sickness or keep from getting more sick than they already are (like when you have a basic cold).

Most of us grew up with our grandmothers making soup from scratch which meant first making a stock from chicken or beef bones – same as today (unless you buy “already made” broth from a can or box which every grocery stores sells). I know people who buy broth from a butcher for $10 a litre. To make a good batch of soup you’d need at least 3-4 litres. And to make your own don’t forget that marrow no longer comes cheap. At $4-5 a lb. it doesn’t seem like much but you’ll need several bones to make a large pot of soup and with all the extras you can prepare to spend about $30 to make it worthwhile. Anything time consuming you want to have lots of.

Making a homemade *stock (or broth) from bones does take time to do properly but it’s so worthwhile. You cannot recreate a good soup solely from adding Knorr® bouillon cubes to water. But if a recipe calls for only adding a little stock (eg: rice or risotto) I use “better than bouillon” in its many forms (beef, chicken or veggie depending). It’s the next best thing if homemade is not on hand.

I credit the bone broth trend for giving me a kick to going back to making wholesome soups from scratch.

Homemade Beef Broth - made with bones — Back to Basic Homemade Beef Broth

Nothing replaces it. The ‘bone broth’ most people are now referring to is the kind that you cook for up to two days where the bones begin to disintegrate and then you strain everything through a sieve to get only the liquid. This has to be done with chicken because beef bones don’t really disintegrate entirely. I can’t even tell you how long it would take if they did. With beef you make sure to get bones with as much marrow in them as possible because the marrow is what gives you the nutritive qualities that have all the healthy benefits. Bone broth builds bones, and the likely reason is it’s high in gelatin — collagen. And collagen is what provides the framework for good bones. That’s what’s needed to lay on calcium and other minerals. Gelatin is one of the healthiest foods you can eat and has benefits ranging from reducing wrinkles (I’m told it’s even better than botox but I wouldn’t know!), healing joints, building stronger bones, and even improving dental health. The biggest benefit of gelatin is that it is apparently a gut healer.I’ve been buying large grass fed beef shanks with marrow and add **oxtail for flavour. I brown them first before putting them into my large slow cooker set on high for one hour and then low for as long as it takes for the marrow to soften and the meat to fall away from the bones. Last time it took 36 hours. This is the original slow cooking. They will create their own juices over time (just make sure you check to make sure they don’t dry out – add water if you need to) but you can always put them into a large pot of water, bring to a boil and then simmer for hours. Then once cool, remove all the bones, cut up the meat and set aside. Then cut up your veggies (garlic, onion, celery, carrots) and add spices and 2-3 bay leaves to the pot. If using a slow cooker you can now add water. I put some of the bones back in with the vegetables and remove once the veggies are fully cooked. Once the veggies are soft and the stock is tasting good I then add the meat and a bunch of cut-up kale and sometimes serve over tiny egg noodles or macaroni for added heartiness. See? It’s so easy – just that everyone is in so much in a hurry now to have it…now.

A great pot of soup is nurturing and at this time of year especially there’s always some on hand in my house either in the fridge or freezer. And it tastes like what your grandmother used to make. Which is all the rage.

Nice to know grannies are trending

*The only difference between a stock and a broth is a stock uses bones, and a broth is the liquid the meat was cooked in.

**Oxtail: not only does it add more flavour but it also contains trace amounts of calcium, with 10 milligrams of calcium present in 100 grams of oxtail and is a very good source of iron.

Do you make soup from scratch or try to cut corners? – just wondering.

Art & Culture

How ART influences FASHION

And it’s such a drip….figuratively speaking, because I’m talking about Jackson Pollock in this post.

Photographed by Cecil Beaton, Vogue, March 1951

A survey of Pollock’s works is at the Museum of Modern Art (MoMA) covering early experiments with primal themes and loosely figurative forms from the years 1934 to 1954. The exhibition also features the highly recognizable drip paintings which made him famous the world over.

These drippings have caught on with fashion designers big time who have been inspired by them and have incorporated Pollock-print paint splatterings on everything from sneakers to ball gowns.

While designers have referenced many artists over the years, there are few so synonymous with Pollock’s style.

Maison Margiela’s popular “Pollock” sneaker Photo: Courtesy of Maison Margiela — Maison Margiela’s popular “Pollock” sneaker
Photo: Courtesy of Maison Margiela

Perhaps the first fashion world adoption of Pollock’s art came in a 1951 issue of Vogue (in photo above), where a model showed off the season’s chicest gowns standing in front of a Pollock painting on view at the Betty Parsons Gallery.

Since then, his signature splashes have infiltrated the runways in many forms. The most unmatched tribute to Pollock’s art, however, came courtesy of Alexander McQueen, who positioned model Shalom Harlow in the center of paint-shooting robots that streaked her ivory gown black and acid green as she rotated on a platform.

Alexander McQueen Spring 1999 Photo: Courtesy of Alexander McQueen — Alexander McQueen Spring 1999
Photo: Courtesy of Alexander McQueen

Now that’s making a statement!

“Jackson Pollock: A Collection Survey, 1934-1954” is on view at the Museum of Modern Art until Sunday, May 1, 2016.

Art & Culture

Vancouver OPERA presents Madama Butterfly

Don’t miss Vancouver Opera’s gorgeous production of Puccini’s MADAMA BUTTERFLY – a beautiful story of honour, love, heartbreak and sacrifice.

As they say; Fall in love at the OPERA.

Middle: Mihoko Kinishita as Cio-Cio-San (Butterfly). Photo: Tim Matheson

I went to the opening last night and thoroughly enjoyed the gorgeous set, incredible voices and achingly beautiful music brought to life by two of the world’s most in demand sopranos. There were many women fittingly dressed up in stunning Kimonos.

Mihoko Kinoshita as Cio-Cio-San (butterfly), Gregory Dahl as Sharpless, Richard Trotell as Pinkerton. Photo: Tim Matheson

About the Performers:

Sharing the role of Cio-Cio-San (Butterfly) for alternating performances will be Jee-Hye Han and Mihoko Kinoshita. Jee-Hye Han will be making her VO début. Mihoko Kinoshita was last seen in VO’s 2010 production of Madama Butterfly. Tenors Adam Luther and Richard Troxell will sing opposite them, sharing the role of Pinkerton.

Madama Butterfly is onstage at the Queen Elizabeth Theatre, corner of Georgia and Hamilton Streets,Vancouver, B.C. for only 6 performances, March 5 – 13, 2016.

Good seats still remain but are selling quickly for all performances, with the best availability at the Friday, March 11 and Sunday March 13 performances.

Not a kimono but at least it was colourful.

The Vancouver Opera Orchestra conducted by Leslie Dala. Photo: Tim Matheson

Dates:

Sunday, March 6 • 2:00pm matinée

Thursday, March 10 • 7:30pm

Friday, March 11 • 7:30pm

Saturday, March 12 • 7:30pm

Sunday, March 13 • 2:00pm matinée

Madama Butterfly will be sung in Italian with English translations projected above the stage.

Approximate running time: 2 hours and 40 minutes, including 1 intermission.

Tickets are available exclusively through the Vancouver Opera Ticket Centre: 604-683-0222 or www.vancouveropera.ca. Visa, MasterCard and American Express are accepted. Special pricing for groups of at least 10, and for families, is available by phone.

Follow Vancouver Opera on Twitter and Facebook for exclusive offers such as VO’s Get O.U.T (Opera Under 35) program, with $35 tickets for patrons aged under.

GODERE!

ENJOY!

Health + LifeStyle

Hypnosis for Healing

This week I want to focus on the old cliché in a few different areas. I want to start with Hypnosis because it’s something that has always fascinated me. Maybe I just want to be a control freak.

My dad used to say corny things to my mom like “you hypnotise me with your eyes“

When I was little my dad took me to see the stage illusionist and hypnotist Raveen who came to Montreal quite regularly. All I remember is lots of people going up on stage and then after being hypnotized, they did some crazy things like bark like dogs or cluck like chickens. I remember wanting to find out if I could be hypnotized but not wanting to find out later that I ran around naked onstage or something equally (no; that’s the worst) humiliating.

And who can forget Woody Allen in the screwball movie Curse of the Jade Scorpion where his character is hypnotized into stealing jewels after hearing only one word by a crooked hypnotist. Case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. It is intriguing to think about…I mean if you had the power to actually play with people’s minds and try to control them. (not like it hasn’t been done before by some crafty players.) I would like to wave the wand and be like: you are getting sleepy, you are under my spell. Now give me your sandwich! But realisticaly….

It’s time to put aside all the illusions about what a hypnotist can do. A stage hypnotist might, for the purposes of entertainment try to make you bark like a dog or take off your clothes (I don’t think they really do that but I would if I had the power and wanted to see someone naked) but clinical hypnotherapy is not entertainment. It is therapy undertaken in a state of hypnosis.

I’m just beginning to find out because two people close to me have started seeing a clinical therapist to experience hypnosis for therapeutic and medical reasons. Next week I’m tagging along to see for myself how the process works. The mind is a powerful tool so if this helps someone deal with pain or a psychologically stressful issue, it can’t be harmful. It appears that it can also benefit anyone dealing with a friend or significant other who has a medical issue and the accompanying stress that goes along it. Apparently this kind of hypnosis makes it easier for your subconscious mind to understand how you can get the results you want.

The Doorway to Your Subconscious

To be a good subject you need to want to cooperate and you need to be able to focus and follow instructions (a challenge for me but I will make a mental state of focusing attention). The reason to use clinical hypnosis is to help you become receptive to suggestions for solving your problem (s) and to help you have more control over your symptons. It is not mind control. You cannot be made to act on suggestions that are not acceptable to you. You are not asleep during the process. You cannot be hypnotized against your will. It involves helping you experience a pleasant state of relaxed concentration during which your conscious mind can relax and the “doorway” to your subconscious mind can be opened with your consent. In this relaxed state (almost a meditative state – something else I want to explore) your openness to suggestion and your mental focus may be increased. Sensitivity to feelings, sensations, sights, sounds, smells and tastes can be made more or less intense. Also, your imagination can often be easily used for making helpful suggestions work for you. I have a very active imagination so this will be interesting.

Hypnosis can be used as a tool to help you:

Experience Deep Healing Relaxation, Identify what you want and how you can get it, use your imagination to help you solve your problem, become more open to helpful suggestions and ideas, gain relief from bothersome symptoms such as physical pain and anxiety, gain more control over how you deal with such symptoms, learn how to more effectively manage stress, control your mood swings, supercharge your motivation to make positive changes in your behaviour, free yourself from harmful habits such as smoking, have better sleep, become less depressed and less anxious, let go of self destructive resentment and guilt, solve emotional conflicts that hold you back from getting better, and change harmful attitudes, beliefs, feelings and behaviours.

I will follow up on this and if it turns out that I can bend people to my will, I hope I can do some good.

Would you consider trying this?

Girl Who Would be King

Feel-good Friday: just saying

CELEBRATING Chic to Chic

Fabulous Fashionable French Females

some of my favourite looks

Inès de la Fressange

Marion Cotillard

Have a wonderful weekend!

beauty, Girl Who Would be King

Beauty: essentially speaking

Skin.Hair.Nails.Bath.Candles...these are some areas of the body, places and objects used to put essential oils.
Scent is powerful and important. I’ve made no secret about my love for essential oils and for mixing them up to create some outstanding allover skincare products. It helps to know what works for what area but by trial and error you can always experiment yourself.

If you haven’t already been introduced to aromatherapy, think of it as a cross between your new favorite candle and a cure to all your most annoying ailments along with the best scents nature has to offer. One of my favourite mixes to add to a diffuser is Ylang Ylang, Neroli, Orange sweet & Vanilla – it’s called “Hawaiian Escape” and it really smells like an exotic vacation. Essential Oils will trick your senses to help you escape for a little while.

Here are 5 EASY WAYS to incorporate essential oils in your daily routine. Warning: Once you start experimenting with them, you won’t be able to stop.

Jasmine: The Happy Scent

Put a few drops of jasmine, ylang ylang or rose in your hand and rub into your scalp. This awakens the senses and increases feelings of optimism and joy. I use jasmine in my facial spray.

Mint: The Pain Reliever

Add Peppermint essential oil to your lotion and rub on your feet at the end of a long day. Enjoy increased circulation and the natural analgesic. Fresh and Stimulating. Great for headaches too so if you feel one coming on rub a bit onto your temples.

Lemongrass: The Pick-Me-Up

Add lemon or lemongrass essential oil to a spray bottle filled with water and mist the carpet before you vacuum. Citrus is uplifting and invigorating. On another note it helps to relieve stomach aches if you use it as a tea. I learned this while living in Brazil. – just pour hot water over fresh cut lemongrass. Works like a charm.

Lavender: The Sleep-Time Scent

Add a few drops of Lavender essential oil to your bath to unwind, or spritz on your pillow for a restful sleep. I use lavender bath salts for a relaxing before-bedtime bath. There is nothing to do but crawl into bed as I can hardly keep my eyes open after that.

Basil: The Feel-Better Blend

Combine rose geranium, basil and sandalwood and diffuse into the air when you are grieving, stressed out or overwhelmed. Diffuse or apply topically to promote clear breathing (warning; it will make you hungry for caprese).

On a heavier note – a bitch of a spray:

A perfect blend for when you’re irritated, annoyed, tired, peeved, frustrated, enraged, or have an overall bad attitude! Spray near co-workers, friends, and relatives as needed. Try to use sparingly!

I love to help!

Which essential oils are your favourite?

Photos: Pinterest

STYLE

La Parisienne – Famous French Style

Oh I think you know where I’m going with this…PARIS fashion week kicked off yesterday so right now is a good time to brush up on that French je ne sais quoi in all its forms.

To honour Fashion Week here are some Frencheccentric trendsetters of yesteryear and today worth taking note of. Starting with:

Josephine Baker

Nightclub performer Josephine Baker might have been American by birth, but she came as close to being a proper Parisian as a foreigner could get, becoming a Chevalier of the Légion d’honneur after World War II. (Charles de Gaulle himself bestowed the honor upon her.) Baker first arrived in Paris in 1925, gaining acclaim for her sultry dances at the Folies Bergère. Her costumes were as famous as her moves, too—her banana skirt ensembles inspired a Prada collection, while her sheer crystal dresses were a reference for Rihanna’s unforgettable see-through CFDA look. Today, you’ll find traces of Baker in some of Spring’s more soigné slip dresses.

Anouk Aimée

French actress Anouk Aimée is perhaps most famous for her Golden Globe winning role in Claude Lelouch’s 1966 A Man and a Woman, but her offscreen style was just as noteworthy as her career-making role. In her ’60s heyday, Aimée preferred sultry yet simple pieces like cropped sweaters, fitted dresses, and flats. She was never one for accessories, choosing to complement her looks with a flick of winged eyeliner and expertly arched brows.

Sylvie Vartan

Chanteuse Sylvie Vartan rolled with the right crowd in ’60s Paris, calling Yves Saint Laurent one of her closest collaborators. That relationship bore some of the decade’s best outfits, like the two pairs of crystal-studded jeans Vartan and her then-husband, Johnny Hallyday, wore to perform a duet. Off the stage, she favored minidresses with girlish collars, Mary Janes, and plush furs, helping to define France’s nascent yé-yé girl movement. (Think of yé-yé style as the French equivalent of mod.) A just-released book on her taste, Le Style Vartan, chronicles her outfits in immense detail—all the better for re-creating them today.

Sonia Rykiel

The name Sonia Rykiel might conjure up visions of thin, patterned knits, but the wardrobe of the designer herself is much more varied. As one of Paris’s Rive Gauche trendsetters of the ’70s, Rykiel built up a reputation of being the woman with the best—and biggest—coat in the room. Underneath the voluminous outerwear, you’d find a mix of gamine pieces like jumpsuits and mannish trousers, styled with some of her namesake knits. There was a Sonia Rykiel store for years in Vancouver on Burrard Street but sadly it didn’t make it and closed shop – it did not appeal to the Vancouver crowd.

Niki de Saint Phalle

Sculptor and artist Niki de Saint Phalle made some of the most vibrant works of the ’60s through ’80s, which have just been honored in an exhibition in Paris’s Grand Palais. When she wasn’t wearing a caftan that rivaled the colors and patterns of her artwork, De Saint Phalle preferred simple, neutral pieces that she jazzed up with bold accessories like berets, pendants, and armfuls of bracelets.

Vanessa Paradis

Today’s runways have made a habit of applying highbrow taste to thrift store finds—something Vanessa Paradis has been doing for decades. The singer has been sporting slip dresses with shaggy furs, bohemian maxi skirts with boyish blazers, and skinny jeans with blouson tops since the ’90s, and continues to hone her eclectic style to this day. No wonder her daughter, Lily-Rose Depp, has such good taste at only 16.

Aymeline Valade

Model-turned-actress Aymeline Valade’s Saint Laurent tuxedo at the Cannes Film Festival was the stuff of red carpet dreams. Valade’s off-duty style is just as memorable, making everything from a Lacoste polo shirt to a dainty Chloé dress look all her own.

These women are all fine examples of how to embody personal STYLE

Photos: Getty Images

Source: Vogue Runway

Girl Who Would be King

Eat.Drink.Dance.Listen – Blue Martini Jazz

my first (not completely) unhappy review – and hopefully my last

Last Saturday I went with a friend to the newly opened Blue Martini Jazz Café to listen to live music – the wonderful Dawn Pemberton and her band were performing and they were excellent; a mix of R&B, Jazz, Funk and World Beat music which I love. The ambience was reminiscent of a true dinner/jazz club which is lacking in Vancouver. I can also walk to this place from home which is a big plus.

The friend I went with had been there for Dine Out Vancouver and said the food was great. Here’s the complaint:

We only wanted to order one glass of wine and share some appies while listening to a few sets. I only complain when necessary and hate to do so; but I became that woman for the duration of the evening. And I believe that it only helps for the owners to know when a customer is not satisfied.

So we decide to order a glass of red wine each, a salad and an antipasto platter for two.

The waiter tells us the wine we want (which is on the menu) is not available (they just haven’t yet taken it off the menu) but he can bring us a comparable one in its place. He wasn’t planning to tell us that the one replacing it will cost us each $4 more – something made me ask (I must have felt suspect because I do not normally ask the price of something that should be a given). We order a glass anyway.

He brings the bottle and starts to pour directly from bottle to wine glass. It looks like a taster. Which brings me to question how many ounces they serve. He says six. I say it looks more like four. I finish in five sips and decide not to order more wine. Maybe should have gone with a martini. Waiter comes back and says “sorry, my mistake, we pour five ounces only.” I still think my pour (like how would he really know since he didn’t measure and the pours were not even) was less but don’t want to start complaining as the company and music are perfect.

We order a zesty Caesar salad to split. It was good even though the croutons were from a box. It should be noted that this place charges $4 to split orders although that either does not count for salads or they decided not to charge us.

The shared Antipasto Platter was a different matter – it was a total disappointment. Why? Because the menu reads: Italian Cheeses, cold cuts, pickles, smoked salmon, artichokes, olives, arugula and buffalo burrata. At $16 per person (total $32 for the platter) Sounds great right?

It came with no bread. We had to ask and they brought us 4 little pieces. It came with no cheese that we can recall (remember we were not the least bit tipsy on 4 ounces of wine) except for two teensy tiny slices of mozzarella (believe me when I tell you there was no way on earth it was burrata – it was not the least bit creamy) on a slice of tomato. One slice was double the size so we had to flip a coin for fun to see which one of us would be the lucky one to have it – I won. There was a pile of arugula in the middle of the plate with a few pieces of artichoke underneath, a few of the tiniest gherkins we’ve ever seen, 4-5 regular sized green olives, two slices of smoked salmon and an assortment of rolled-up deli meats (mortadella, pepperoni, the usual where I can’t pronounce the names) but it didn’t even out with the rest of the plate.

I ask the waiter to see the menu again just to make sure there was mention of other cheese or cheeses in this case. Sure enough the first thing mentioned on the antipasto platter is Italian Cheeses (see, it’s even plural which suggests more than one kind). So I question him – where was the cheese? He tells us there was a little shaved parmesan on top of the arugula (there may have been but neither of us noticed). I asked about the burrata. He said it’s buffalo burrata. I say it’s a way of misleading customers – it’s just another word for regular mozzarella cheese – of the plainest kind. The couple sitting across from us said the same thing – “why would they write cheeses on the menu when they only give you three little pieces?” I said you got three pieces, we only got two?” They only complain to us that they’re not satisfied.

We ask for the bill. We’re still hungry but don’t want to order anything else.

Because it was obvious we were not satisfied we got a piece of dessert on the house to share – which was tasty. We laugh it off to an unpleasant experience – like something crazy out of a Seinfeld episode or Sex and the City.

We go back to my place and my friend asks if I have any food so I go into the fridge, take out some stuff and we sit on the sofa and watch an episode of a 4-part documentary series on Netflix – Chelsea Does on Racism. It lightened up our evening.

Will I go back to Blue Martini?

I really wanted to love this place. I understand that rents are high and there is no cover charge but please do not take advantage of good customers who may become regulars. I like to support live music and buy CD’s. I’m crazy enough to go back at some point, sit at the bar, order one martini and just listen to the live music….maybe.

What do you think – Am I nuts?